By Jon
COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross, Excalibur, & Tony Schiavone
After months of bad blood, the war between Thunder Rosa and Dr. Britt Baker, DMD comes to a head this week on a St. Patrick’s Day Slam edition of Dynamite as they face off in a Lights Out match in the main event. Also on the show Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston take on The Good Brothers, Jade Cargill makes her singles debut in impressive fashion, Christian Cage finally speaks, and Sting finds a surprising admirer in…Brian Cage?
CHAMPIONS
- AEW WORLD CHAMPION: Kenny Omega
- AEW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Hikaru Shida
- AEW TNT CHAMPION: Darby Allin
- AEW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Young Bucks (Nick & Matt Jackson)
LINEUP
- Cody Rhodes vs. Penta El Zero M (**3/4)
- Dani Jordyn vs. Jade Cargill (SQUASH)
- Jurassic Express & Bear Country vs. Matt Hardy, Private Party, and The Butcher & The Blade (*3/4)
- Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston vs. The Good Brothers (**1/2)
- Rey Fenix vs. Angelico (**3/4)
- LIGHTS OUT: Thunder Rosa vs. Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. (****1/2)
*****
-EARLIER DAY: MJF and his new friends (Wardlow, Tully Blanchard, Shawn Spears, Cash Wheeler, & Dax Harwood) arrive via private jet and right into a limousine.
–Penta El Zero M makes his way out for the opening contest, vowing to put his opponent into early maternity leave via pre recorded comments.
—
“The American Nightmare” Cody Rhodes [w/ “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson] vs. Penta El Zero M
Penta attacks Rhodes before the bell, connecting with a senton on the ramp during the latter’s entrance. Rhodes fights back, sending Penta into the guardrail and rolling into the ring to create some separation. Penta rips Rhodes’ shirt off, shushes the crowd, and CRACKS him in the chest with an open-hand slap. Rhodes absorbs some shots and connects with a front-facing suplex, Penta counters a clothesline with a Sling Blade for a two-count. Penta counters a Cross Rhodes attempt with a knee to the head, then connects with a backstabber out of a floatover but lazily covers and Rhodes easily kicks out. Penta sets up a spare guardrail, Rhodes escapes a fireman’s carry and connects with a pump kick. Rhodes dazes Penta with a right and connects with an awesome top-rope hurricanrana; Rhodes takes too long to gloat though and gets caught with a kick right to the taped-up shoulder. Penta focuses all his offense on the injured shoulder, kicking and stepping on it. Rhodes catches Penta in a fireman’s carry and tries to dump him on the guardrail, Penta escapes and kicks him in the shoulder, a Disaster Kick sends Penta to the floor. Rhodes fights through the pain, TOPE SUICIDA INTO THE PROPPED UP GUARDRAIL. That…could have been cooler. Rhodes stuns Penta with a superkick followed by a running Canadian Destroyer and Cody Cutter for the 1…2…Penta kicks out in the nick of time. Rhodes follows up with the Cross Rhodes for the 1…2…PENTA KICKS OUT AGAIN, even Arn Anderson and his tracksuit can’t believe it! Rhodes picks Penta up, VERTEBREAKER for the 1…2…PENTA KICKS OUT A THIRD TIME. Man I haven’t seen a Vertebreaker in forever, hell yeah. Penta slaps Rhodes, Rhodes slaps Penta’s knee off the ringpost and locks in the Figure Four Leglock. Penta struggles…struggles…and makes it to the ropes! Rhodes pulls Penta back into the center of the ring and goes for it again, Penta counters and SNAPS THE ARM, Rhodes fights through and rolls him up in a sunset flip position for the 1…2…3!
Cody Rhodes defeated Penta El Zero M via pinfall (10:12)
- Okay match. The guardrail spot was kind of a letdown but I enjoyed it overall. I appreciate Rhodes trying to pull out some MOVEZ to match Penta as best he could. (**3/4)
Penta immediately attacks Rhodes and goes after the shoulder. Dustin Rhodes and The Gunn Club (Billy Gunn, Austin Gunn, & Colten Gunn), members of The Nightmare Family I’m told (by Google), chase Penta out of the ring. QT Marshall finally shows up to check on Cody, much to the annoyance of everyone else. Maybe the dude was eating a panini, chill.
—
–Alex Marvez interviews The Young Bucks about their #1 contenders PAC & Rey Fenix. Don Callis interrupts and admits to faking his eye injury a few weeks back, but wanted them to kick him so he could see the Young Bucks he remembered from Japan again. Callis says the Bucks have killed their careers, Matt Jackson asks what he wants. Callis says Kenny Omega is the GOD of professional wrestling and doesn’t recognize the Bucks anymore as they aren’t elite; they’re just another team in fancy tights living off their name. Callis asks them to think about if they’re the same Nick & Matt from Japan.
—
Dani Jordyn vs. Jade Cargill
This is Cargill’s first-ever singles match I guess, having made her in-ring debut two weeks ago teaming up with Shaq in a win over Cody Rhodes & Red Velvet. What a weird sentence.
Jordyn shows no fear, Cargill drops her with a kick that nearly takes her head off. Cargill follows up with a release German suplex that sends Jordyn halfway across the ring and nips up immediately after. Cargill finishes things up with a double chicken wing into a faceslam for the easy 1…2…3.
Jade Cargill defeated Dani Jordyn via pinfall (1:17)
- Jade Cargill f*cking rocks. I wanna see her wreck EVERYBODY. (SQUASH)
Cargill mouths off at Red Velvet, referee Bryce Remsburg gets in between them.
—
IN-RING SEGMENT
MJF makes his way out, joined by Tully Blanchard, Shawn Spears, Wardlow, & FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler), everybody suited up like ADULTS. Blanchard recaps how they beat up AEW’s biggest group, The Inner Circle, at the end of last week’s show. Blanchard says that now makes this group the BADDEST group in AEW, they are at the pinnacle of this sport. MJF grabs the mic and says pretending to like Chris Jericho wasn’t easy, nor was it easy taking a backseat to him for six straight months while also breaking him up from Sammy Guevara. MJF says Jericho thought he was taking him under his wing but he was plucking him feather by feather. From day 1 the goal was to kill the Inner Circle from the inside, to end the strongest faction in AEW and build one even stronger. MJF shows off the lineup of his new group, hyping each man. MJF then hypes himself, saying he’s only 24 and will age like a fine wine as he has 25+ years left in the tank. When it’s all said and done, Jericho won’t be the GOAT it’ll be MJF. MJF says they are the Pinnacle, they are family, and the backbone of AEW for years to come, vowing to take what they want when they want…including Jericho’s locker room.
- God I f*cking hate how good MJF is at pro wrestling sometimes. This was a great promo and a wonderful statement segment for AEW’s newest faction. I really hope this is leading to a big ol’ War Games between The Pinnacle and The Inner Circle. We were robbed of Blood & Guts last year thanks to this sh*tty pandemic, now’s about time we give it another go huh?
—
Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus, & Marko Stunt) & Bear Country (Bronson & Boulder) vs. “Big Money” Matt Hardy, Private Party (Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy), The Butcher, & The Blade [w/ The Bunny]
Stunt wants to start for his team so Hardy tags himself in, expecting to have it easy. Stunt provides him wrong though, escaping a splash mountain and slapping Hardy across the face. Jungle Boy tags in, missile dropkick to Stunt into Hardy and now EVERYBODY IS BRAWLING. The faces clear the heels from the ring and pose, Bear Country send Stunt flying onto the pile of heels on the floor, Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus taking offense at the treatment of their friends. Jungle Boy gets clipped accidentally, Hardy connects with a Side Effect for a two-count. Cue the picture-in-picture, Jungle Boy fights off a sneak attack from Private Party but Blade stops him from tagging and he and Butcher connect with a throw/gutbuster combo. Noice. Heels continue to work Jungle Boy over as the commercials roll on, which to be honest I’m paying way more attention to so I apologize if I miss something important.
Back to full screen as Luchasaurus gets the hot tag. Chops and kicks to Private Party, Blade runs in and eats a whole lot of strikes into a release German suplex. Quen saves Kassidy, Luchasaurus flips under a clothesline and connects with kicks to both and a chokeslam to Kassidy followed by a standing moonsault for the 1…2…Butcher breaks it up. Butcher absorbs a headbutt and connects with a beautiful lariat, Stunt sticks and moves with a missile dropkick. Luchasaurus tries to tag Stunt but Bronson tags himself in and throws Kassidy around. The faces argue, Stunt tags himself in and chaos ensues on the floor with a mess of bodies. Kassidy drops Stunt with a pump kick, Quen tags in and Stunt fights them off but Hardy attacks from behind and Private Party hit Gin n Juice. Hardy asks for the tag, Quen obliges and Hardy hits an unnecessary Twist of Fate for the 1…2…3.
Matt Hardy, The Butcher, The Blade, & Private Party defeated Jurassic Express & Bear Country via pinfall (8:53)
- A little chaotic but entertaining. I don’t know Bear Country well but hosses throwing folks around is my jam so I could see them becoming a favorite team of mine in the future. Loved Matt Hardy stealing the glory for absolutely NO reason. (**)
—
–Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston are backstage getting ready for their tag team match. Mox says he should be on a beach but he’s going to war AGAIN because it’s time to take care of his real problem: The Good Brothers. Mox does not like The Good Brothers at all because they’re cheapshot artists. Kingston says Gallows looks like a “wiggly-eyed dude” and calls Good Brothers cowards who’ll die a thousand deaths.
- This promo ripped. I didn’t do it justice in written form.
–Dasha Gonzalez interviews Christian Cage backstage. Cage says he makes wrestling better and makes wrestlers level up but he’s not a workhorse he’s THE workhorse. Cage mentions that he might have ruffled some feathers on the way in but the only spot he wants is occupied by AEW World Champion Kenny Omega. Cage says he needs to prove himself of course but he’ll see Omega down the line. Cage has come to AEW to cement his legacy and put into action three words: OUT. WORK. EVERYONE.
- Underwhelming words from Christian Cage here. I do like him mentioning he needed some wins under his belt before challenging Omega, meaning AEW isn’t going to try and hot shot that as his next big feud or anything, but I don’t know it didn’t really wow me. I’ll try to keep an open mind but he and Edge refusing to take the L on their careers and making late-game comebacks is not my jam. I would absolutely do the same thing in their shoes though.
–The Good Brothers attack Eddie Kingston during King’s entrance. A taped-up Jon Moxley runs out and joins the fight and both teams continue to brawl as Bryce Remsburg sorta tries to get some order so a match can happen. Good Brothers double up on Mox and deliver a Magic Killer on the floor. Anderson rolls Kingston in and the bell rings, so a match IS happening.
—
Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston vs. The Good Brothers (“Big LG” Doc Gallows & “Machine Gun” Karl Anderson)
Good Brothers keep the attack going, going after Kingston’s eyes and choking him against the bottom rope. Schiavone hypes next week’s non-title match between Kenny Omega and Matt Sydal which emerged from this past Monday’s AEW Dark: Elevation debut episode. AEW now has SIX hours of programming Monday-Wednesday so if you want a new one-stop shop for wrestling there you go. Mox gets back to the apron, Gallows drops him back to the floor and we go to picture-in-picture. Apparently Blake Griffin has a prank show, which honestly sounds about right, he’s the correct age for that to sound like a cool idea.
Back to the full screen as Kingston drops Gallows with a shoulder tackle. Mox is now back on the apron, CHEWING ALL THE SCENERY as he struggles to get the tag. Anderson tags in to prevent it, Kingston throws him overhead with an Exploder. Mox finally gets the hot tag and immediately uses his hurt shoulder for some clotheslines and a release German suplex (third match in a row!). Mox sends Anderson into the corner with a shotgun dropkick and clears Gallows off the apron so he can stomp Machine Gun into paste. Mox levels Anderson with a lariat followed by a piledriver for the 1…2…Gallows breaks it up. Mox fights through the pain and connects with a dainty tope suicida on Gallows. Mox gets back in, Anderson drills him with a spinebuster for the 1…2…no! Gallows tags in, Good Brothers with a kick/flatliner combo, Kingston tries to help and gets drilled with an inverted 3D, Gallows covers Mox for the 1…2…not yet! Kingston gets involved again, sending Gallows to the floor with a clothesline; Gallows pulls him out and sends him into the guardrail, Mox surprises Anderson with an inside cradle for the 1…2…3!
Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston defeated The Good Brothers via pinfall (9:52)
- Mox & Kingston are great together as personalities and as a tag team; they were really fun here, especially Mox’s overacted “MUST OVERCOME THE PAIN” stuff leading to his hot tag. They rock. Wish I could say the same about The Good Brothers. I don’t know why but every time they’re on the screen my eyes glaze over. It’s The Randy Orton Effect. (**1/2)
Good Brothers immediately attack Mox, and out comes Kenny Omega (and Don Callis), carrying a steel chair. Omega takes a seat, Kingston hits him with a wild swing but becomes the victim of the DAMNED NUMBERS GAME and a Magic Killer. Omega wraps Kingston’s leg in the chair and Anderson PILLMANIZES it, Omega then kicks him out of the ring and shakes the ropes like the Ultimate Warrior. They try to Pillmanize Mox’s neck next but out come The Young Bucks to finally run interference, much to the annoyance of Callis and Omega. Omega and Good Brothers call for a Too Sweet, Young Bucks REFUSE and walk off. Omega puts his hands on Matt Jackson, Jackson fights the urge and jaw jack sinstead. Mox scares Omega and company off with a chair, Kingston yells at the officials to get him in the ring with Mox.
—
ENTRANCE STAGE SEGMENT
Tony Schiavone brings out his guests, TNT Champion Darby Allin & Sting. Schiavone talks with Allin first about Scorpio Sky’s post-match attack last week. Allin snatches the mic and says he has defended the title THREE times since winning back in November which is a joke, and he wants to be a defending champion week in and week out. Allin wants to start by paying tribute to the greatest TNT Champion of all-time (Brodie Lee) and puts an open challenge out to The Dark Order. They’re interrupted by Lance Archer and Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Archer calls Allin the most indie-riffic joke in wrestling and vows to put him in a coffin he seems to like so much. Roberts tells Allin to put his hot dog bun back on because he’s nothing but a weenie. Roberts tells Sting he’ll get what’s coming to him because you don’t play with fire and things are changing.
Archer and Roberts leave but before the interview can get back on track here comes Team Taz (Taz, Brian Cage, Ricky Starks, Hook, & Powerhouse Hobbs). Cage tells Taz he’s not talking for him this time and tells Sting he respects him and says he’s still the Icon. Team Taz obviously takes umbrage with this, Cage walks off as Team Taz follows wanting answers.
- AEW out here trying to kill Sting by putting him against Lance Archer. The Team Taz stuff was kinda cool, but only because I want to see Cage wrestle Hobbs.
—
-VIDEO: Scorpio Sky says the moments are never for him and refuses to be a stepping stone ever again. If he has to hurt people to prove he’s the best then so be it.
—
Rey Fenix [w/ PAC] vs. Angelico
Fenix and Angelico trade holds to start, Fenix rolls Angelico into a crucifix for the 1…2…kickout. Fenix goes for a right, Angelico CATCHES IT WITH HIS LEG and transitions it into an armbar, hammering the taped-up portions of Fenix’s back. Angelico continues showing off his submission skills through the picture-in-picture, moving from hold to hold with a fluidity I didn’t know he had. Guess I haven’t been paying attention.
Back from break Fenix connects with a superkick and a rolling cutter for the 1…2…Angelico kicks out. Angelico catches Fenix in the spine with an elbow and yanks him to the mat with a Navarro Death Roll which is something I’ve never heard of till now but is KICK ASS. Both men trade superkicks, Fenix connects with a crucifix bomb and a sorta Greetings from Asbury Park (a sitout driver) for the 1…2…3.
Rey Fenix defeated Angelico via pinfall (6:11)
- Fenix is breathtakingly great. Fun match for what it was. (**3/4)
—
-EARLIER TODAY: Alex Marvez catches up backstage with Miro mid-workout. Miro says he’s not interested in the rematch Chuck Taylor tried to challenge him to last week as he’s moved on, Kip Sabian interjects trying to say that Miro should care as he’s his best man. Miro says he doesn’t care about Sabian’s wife, he just cares about his destiny and says they’re still buds “outside the ring”. Sabian then accepts the challenge on Miro’s behalf.
- Gimme serious Miro!
—
–Alex Marvez is with The Dark Order. -1 tries to accept Darby Allin’s challenge but he’s only 9 so John Silver accepts instead. THE MEAT MAN’S A COMIN’!
–MJF replaces The Inner Circle’s sign with The Pinnacle’s and takes over Chris Jericho’s office.
—
LIGHTS OUT
Thunder Rosa vs. Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. [w/ Rebel]
Rebel hits Rosa from behind with her crutch, Baker spears her through the ropes on the ramp and connects with an Air Raid Crash for a two-count. Apparently this is also Falls Count Anywhere. Cool. Rosa dodges a chair to the face, Baker buries it in the ribs instead. Baker brags at the camera, Rosa throws the chair at her face and takes out Rebel as well. The action spills into the “crowd”, Rosa sits Baker on a chair but misses a flipping senton and Baker covers for the 1…2…Rosa gets her shoulder up. Baker tosses Rosa back to the ringside and whips her into the AEW sign. Jade Cargill is shown smiling while watching the action from the stands, Women’s Champ Hikaru Shida watching backstage. Rebel sets up a table, Baker creates a pile of chairs in the ring and rolls a bleeding Rosa back into the ring. Cue the picture-in-picture! Baker wedges a chair between the buckles, Rosa blocks a fatliner attempt and connects with a suplex and a two-count. Rebel throws another chair in the ring, Rosa grabs the wedged chair and cracks Baker across the back before adding to the pile.
Baker seats Rosa on the top buckle as the show returns to full-screen. SUPERPLEX INTO THE PILE OF CHAIRS AND BOTH LADIES ARE IN PAAAAIN. Baker finally crawls over and covers Rosa for the 1…2…kickout! A ladder gets introduced for whatever reason and Rosa sends it into the dentist’s face for the 1…2…Baker kicks out. Rosa connects with corner double knees and traps Baker in the corner with the ladder, dropkicking it right into her face and busting her open as well. Like full on pouring all over the mat, HELL YEAH. Rosa sets up a table ringside and BITES Baker’s wound, Baker responds with a superkick. Baker climbs the buckles, Rosa catches her with a hard strike, DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ONTO THE HANGING LADDER. Rosa sets up a table, Baker DDTs her into it then CURB STOMPS HER FACE INTO THE STEEL for the 1…2…Rosa kicks out! Rebel hands Baker a mysterious black bag full of…THUMBTACKS, BAYBAY. Rosa escapes a swinging neckbreaker, Rosa ducks a crutch shot and cracks her in the head with it then dropkicks her off the apron and through the table! Rosa escapes Baker’s grasp and POWERBOMBS HER ON THE THUMBTACKS for the 1…2…BAKER KICKS OUT. Baker blocks a right and traps Rosa in the Lockjaw, Rosa rolls her into the thumbtacks to force the break! Action moves to the apron, Rosa peels Baker off the top buckle and connects with a FIRE THUNDER DRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE for the 1…2…3! Holy shit.
Thunder Rosa defeated Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. via pinfall (16:38)
- I thought they were going to get brutal but my dumb ass didn’t think they’d go THIS nuts and hot damn am I glad to have been wrong! An absolute WAR, both ladies f*cking beat the hell out of each other and bled buckets. Felt like two people who hated each other trying to put the other one out permanently and that was great. Just real cool sh*t all around. Only match worth watching this week but WHAT A MATCH IT IS. Wow. (****1/2)
Rosa celebrates, tears in her eyes, and Ross shills for The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor as the show ends.
*****
FINAL THOUGHTS: Total one match show but what a goddamn match it was. Go out of your way to see Rosa/Baker, it is an absolute massacre in the best way possible. Man I f*cking loved that. Rest of the show is okay too with some standout segments (MJF naming his new faction, John Silver accepting the TNT Championship open challenge) but the wrestling wasn’t all that interesting. Also Christian Cage finally breaking his silence to deliver a boring “I’M HERE FOR THE BELT” promo was disappointing. But WHATEVER because that main event though. THAT MAIN EVENT THOUGH.
- FAVORITE MATCH: Thunder Rosa vs. Dr. Britt Baker, DMD
- FAVORITE MOMENT: Rosa puts Baker through the table with a Fire Thunder Driver and cries immediately after getting the win, finally getting the albatross off her neck.
