[PPV Recap] ‘ECW Guilty as Charged 1999’ – Douglas vs. Taz, Stairway to Hell

Date: January 10, 1999
Venue: Millenium Theatre (Kissimmee, FL)
Commentator: Joey Styles

ECW Guilty as Charged 1999 is the only ECW PPV I ever watched live so it holds a special place in my heart. And what a show it is to as Taz finally gets his shot as ECW World Champion Shane Douglas, both Tajiri and Super Crazy make their American debuts, and a whole lot more. Unfortunately this is the WWE Network version so the music is going to be generic and terrible but hey can’t win them all. I haven’t watched this since it first aired, bootleg copies I had of it always had technical issues for some reason, so I’m excited to see how it holds up. Will it still be good or will it be like most ECW shows and have aged poorly? Let’s find out!

CHAMPIONS

ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: ‘The Franchise’ Shane Douglas
ECW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘The Whole F’N Show’ Rob Van Dam
ECW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Sabu & Rob Van Dam

LINEUP

THREE WAY DANCE: Axl Rotten & Balls Mahoney vs. The F.B.I. vs. Danny Doring & Amish Roadkill (**1/2)
Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy (***3/4)
John Kronus vs. ??? (SQUASH)
New Jack & Spike Dudley vs. The Dudley Boyz (*1/4)
Rob Van Dam [c] vs. Lance Storm for the ECW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP (****)
STAIRWAY TO HELL: Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible (***)
Shane Douglas [c] vs. Taz for the ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP (***1/4)

*****

–Paul Heyman opens the show backstage and announces that both Masato Tanaka and Jerry Lynn will not appear as advertised then puts over how great the ECW locker room is and how they’re still going to give everyone the biggest bang for their buck. A real ‘rally the troops’ message, which Heyman is a master of.

-We transition to the Millenium Theatre where Joey Styles is standing in the center of the ring taking in the ‘ECW’ chants from a very passionate crowd. Styles welcomes the crowd and says ECW is ‘GUILTY…AS…CHAAAAAARGED’. Cue to the opening video and that classic theme song.

–Danny Doring & Amish Roadkill (god I love that gimmick) are already in the ring as their opponents, The Full-Blooded Italians, make their way down. The FBI are Little Guido, Tracy Smothers, Sal E. Graziano, Tommy Rich, and Big Guido. What a motley friggin’ crew that is. Guido and Smothers are the ones actually competing. Smothers is billed from ‘Nashville, Italy’ which is great.

Danny Doring & Amish Roadkill vs. The F.B.I. (Little Guido & Tracy Smothers)

Guido backs Doring into the corner and breaks clean. ‘Faggot’ chants from the crowd. How charming. Doring backs Guido into the corner, Guido hides between the ropes to force separation. Guido complains of a hair pull. Doring counters a backdrop attempt with a ‘Dastardly Shuffle’ as Axl Rotten & Balls Mahoney interrupt. Rotten calls the match they’re watching a ‘homosexual dance party’ (UGH) then interjects he and Mahoney into the contest, making it a three-way dance.

THREE WAY DANCE
Axl Rotten & Balls Mahoney vs. Danny Doring & Amish Roadkill vs. The FBI (Little Guido & Tracy Smothers)

Guido sends Doring to the floor but misses his splash and goes guts-first into the barricade. Smothers and Mahoney brawl in the ring, Rotten cracks a chair across Roadkill’s back. Mahoney belts Smothers with a superkick and covers but only gets two. Smothers tries a leap frog and Mahoney counters with a Liger Bomb. Mahoney sends Smothers to the floor and climbs to the top, hitting a splash on all of the members of The FBI! He’s definitely not too fat to fly. Back in the ring Roadkill hits an Avalanche in the corner to Rotten, Rotten reverses an Irish whip and hits a lariat. Smothers saves the pinfall attempt and clears Rotten out of the ring. Roadkill catches Smothers and delivers a sidewalk slam. Roadkill hits a powerslam then heads to the top turnbuckle, catching Smothers with a flying splash from halfway across the ring and covers, Guido breaks it up. Doring takes out both FBI members, and hits an Alabama Jam on Guido. Doring and Roadkill hit a Hart Attack on Guido. Doring covers but the ref is distracted, allowing Rich to break it up with the Italian flag. Smothers and Guido hit a double-team Fisherman’s suplex on Doring for the 1…2…3. DANNY DORING & ROADKILL HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED. I forgot ECW triple threats were actual elimination matches, sometimes.

Guido and Smothers put the boots to Mahoney (who’s from, ha, NUTLEY NEW JERSEY GET IT) and hit a double dropkick. A Paizan double elbowdrop only gets them a two-count. Rotten tries to intervene but Guido stomps him repeatedly. After all that chaos Guido slows things down with a chinlock as the crowd chants ‘BALLS’ to try and wake their man up. Mahoney escapes and hits a belly-to-back suplex that Guido takes on his damn neck and head. Rotten gets the tag and goes full Dusty Rhodes with a double Bionic Elbow on The FBI. Rotten hits Guido with Severe Skull Trauma (inverted brainbuster) and Mahoney finishes Smothers off with the Nutcracker Suite (scoop slam piledriver) for the 1…2…3. Axl and Balls win over those other two pairs of sissies. REAL MEN. (10:42)

Axl Rotten defeated Danny Doring & Amish Roadkill and The FBI in a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH when Mahoney pinned Smothers with the Nutcracker Suite (10:42)

Well that was a whole lot of chaos and nonsense. Entertaining match though for what it was, and I loved Mahoney flattening the FBI with a top rope splash, I forgot he had hops. The homophobic comments haven’t aged well, as you’d expect, but they were a product of the time and if you’re going to watch an ECW show you just kinda have to put up with it. That aside I dug this more than I expected to. (**1/2)

After the match Big Guido and Sal E. Graziano get in the ring to avenge their fallen F.B.I. comrades, but get chairs to the skull for their troubles. I might have winced.

-Cut to a pre-taped promo from Terry Funk in the locker room. He tells a story about his father killing a Jackass (the animal) for kicking him in the nuts, telling his son that ‘Payback is Hell’. Funk tells Tommy Dreamer that he kicked him in the nuts when he picked Jake Roberts (a man Funk really hates) instead of him as a mystery partner and now it’s time to pay him back for the disrespect. He wants to find out how much blood Dreamer has in his body. Payback time is from now until the day Dreamer dies. Funk then chases the cameraman away. Great promo from Funk that I didn’t do justice here.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

This match kicking off one of ECW’s many storied rivalries and is Tajiri’s coming out party in the U.S. (Crazy had made some appearances in the WWF under his Histeria character). Tajiri is looking real clean-cut here, not yet the demonic man with the plastic pants. HE LOOKS LIKE A BAAAABY to be honest, it’s weird.

Crazy and Tajiri speed around the ring, Crazy hits a leaping DDT, Tajiri peppers Crazy with a series of kicks and a running dropkick right to the skull. Tajiri repeatedly takes Crazy to the mat with a dropkick to the left knee, then applies a leglock trying to force a submission. Crazy with an Irish whip, Tajiri responds with a back handspring elbow that sends him to the floor. Tajiri follows up with a baseball slide and an Asai Moonsault that gets us our first ‘ECW’ chant of the match. On the apron Tajiri kicks Crazy and locks in a Tarantula over the ropes, which doesn’t last long because there are rules to wrestling, man. Crazy hits a dropkick that sends Tajiri to the floor, Crazy follows up with a beautiful somersault plancha, clearing the top rope. Crazy slams Tajiri on the concrete and hits a moonsault off the barricade. Styles makes sure to mention how tough ECW is because they don’t have mats on the floor. BILL WATTS DID IT FIRST, NERDS. Back in the ring Crazy locks in a surfboard, rolling around the ring before turning it into a rear chancery while keeping the legs locked. People shouldn’t bend like that, that’s gross. Tajiri counters whatever Crazy was doing with a tilt-a-whirl into an armdrag and Crazy bails from the ring once more. Tajiri is all about this though, hitting a plancha. A group of front row dorks chants ‘ECW’, pronouncing the W like goobers. Crazy tries to roll Tajiri up, Tajiri fights him off and rolls him up for a two-count. Back to the floor we go with Crazy flattening Tajiri with a tope con hilo.

Crazy spikes Tajiri with a tornado DDT but Tajiri gets back to his feet so Crazy sends him down with a lariat to the back of the neck. Crazy then hits an inverted tornado DDT and covers for the 1…2…NAH. Tajiri counters a power bomb with a DDT and both men are down. Crazy is back up first but misses a corkscrew splash. Tajiri heads to the top, Crazy tries to counter whatever he’s doing but falls victim to a sunset bomb. Tajiri seats Crazy on the top turnbuckle and hits a hurricarana but Crazy rolls through into a cover for the 1…2…NOPE. Crazy then hits a Tiger Bomb and covers again for the 1…2…HECK NAH. Tajiri counters another power bomb then hits a Tiger Bomb of his own but can’t put his opponent away. Both men trade slaps then Tajiri hits a Dragon Suplex into a bridge for the 1…2…3! Awesome. Styles mentions they’re both under contract with ECW and we’ll see more of them in the future. That’s for damn sure.

Yoshihiro Tajiri defeated Super Crazy via pinfall with a Dragon Suplex (11:37)

These two weren’t well-known by American fans coming into this one but they definitely made a statement with this match. A damn fine match between two dudes, Crazy hitting all sorts of fun high spots and Tajiri responding by just merking the dude with kicks and suplexes. Loved it then, love it now. (***3/4)

-We barely get a breather before John Kronus, formerly one-half of The Eliminators with Perry Saturn, makes his way out for the next contest. Out walks ‘Judge’ Jeff Jones next to no music. Apparently he used to be an ECW referee but now he’s in full Judge costume rocking a gimmick that would have fit right in during the weekly PPV era of TNA. Jones makes some super topical references about OJ and Bill Clinton being GUILTY AS CHAAARGED then turns it attention to Kronus, who attacked him last week. Jones finds Kronus GUILTY AS CHAAAARGED for the crime of assault and introduces his executioner…FRIGGIN’ BY GAWD SID VICIOUS…wearing a very stylish denim vest and denim jeans. Man likes he denim. The ECW crowd, who hate everything from WWF and WCW because of how fake and ‘bad’ it is, immediately go into full mark-out mode for Sid like the hypocrites they are.

John Kronus vs. Sid [w/ Judge Jeff Jones]

Sid no-sells Kronus’ right hands then chokeslams him through a table on the floor. Sid grabs a chair and cracks Kronus repeatedly across the skull and back, screaming like Goro in the Mortal Kombat movie. Crowd chants ‘POWER BOMB’ and Sid obliges, getting the easy victory.

Sid defeated John Kronus via pinfall with the Power Bomb (1:31)

Not so much a match as it was a slaughter and it was tremendously entertaining despite not even lasting two minutes. Wrestling fans can debate Sid’s wrestling ability all they want to but there are very few wrestlers who were ever as naturally over as this man was. He didn’t even have to do anything special to win the fickle ECW crowd over, all he had to was SHOW UP. Hot damn. Sid doesn’t last long in ECW but he does destroy folks for a few months so we’ll see him here and there as I very slowly review every ECW PPV out of order. (THE SQUASH THAT RULES THE WORLD)

Sid soaks in the adoration from the crowd while Jones keeps his distance. He may have brought Sid here but no one controls Sid except the voices in his head.

-Styles narrates a video package highlighting the feud between Taz and Shane Douglas, a feud that has been going on for what feels like forever at this point (partially due to Douglas’ arm injury). The feud centers around Douglas essentially getting Taz to take out Sabu, Douglas’ original challenger for the event, ‘breaking his neck’ with a Tazplex through a table. Taz then turned the tables, allowing Sabu to beat him for his fake dumb FTW Title and taking his place as Douglas’ new #1 contender, much to The Franchise’s chagrin and fear. The video package ends with the question: ‘…but what about Sabu?’. FORESHADOWING DUN DUN DUN.

–The Dudley Boyz are led to the ring by Joel Gertner and Sign Guy Dudley which is ‘off-script’ apparently. Big Dick Dudley, their bodyguard I guess, follows behind the team. Big Dick growls at the camera which is funnier than it should have been, probably. Gertner launches into his sex-laden intro, boasting about making Minnie Mouse’s panties wet and begging Daisy Duck since we’re in Florida. It’s still pretty entertaining but holy hell is it a product of its time. The crowd cheers Gertner’s intro so Buh Buh Ray Dudley tells them to shut up to keep that heel heat going. Gertner introduces the rest of the Dudleyz, calling Sign Guy “pretty fly for a Sign Guy” because it’s the 90s and goddammit we loved The Offspring so much back then. Buh Buh, with a fake Southern drawl, says they aren’t supposed to be on this PPV and calls out anyone for an open challenge. Out come New Jack and Spike Dudley to answer the challenge. Spike is dressed like a GANGSTA in solidarity. Ugh the WWE Network replacement of Jack’s original ECW theme suuuuucks.

New Jack & Spike Dudley vs. The Dudley Boyz (Buh Buh Ray & D-Von Dudley) [w/ Joel Gertner, Sign Guy, & Big Dick Dudley)

New Jack brought some plundah with him and uses it to clear the other Dudleyz from the ring then he and Spike focuses on Buh Buh Ray and D-Von. Jack and D-Von brawl on the floor while Spike works on Buh Buh inside, hitting a hurricanrana followed by a baking pan shot. Spike covers but only gets two. I couldn’t hear a bell so I’m not recording the time for this one, I’m sure you’re heartbroken. Buh Buh caves Spike’s skull in with a cooking pan, D-Von throwing fists at Jack against the guardrail outside. Buh Buh with a military press, TOSSING SPIKE INTO THE CROWD THAT POOR DUDE. The security HELPS THE CROWD pick Spike up so they can crowdsurf him a bit. Fire these guys. On the ramp Buh Buh tosses Spike into the crowd again but there’s no one there SO HE JUST HITS THE CHAIRS, JESUS. Buh Buh scares the cameraman away as we go see what Jack and D-Von are doing. Not much, man. Not much. There’s a dented chair nearby though it probably got used and we didn’t see it. Spike hits Buh Buh with a cookie sheet on the ramp and Buh Buh crashes to the mat like a sack of potatoes, like One Man Gang did in that Stay Tuned movie you’ve probably never seen making this reference irrelevant. Jack strangles D-Von for a bit with a camera cord then rolls into the ring. Spike and Jack with guitars, Dudleyz with chairs. Dudleyz escape to the floor so Jack and Spike use said guitars on Big Dick instead. It takes both to knock the big man down. Man I wish WWE Network would have just muted the song entirely, this is super annoying to hear playing through the whole match. Jack gets cleared to the ramp, Buh Buh connects with a Buh Buh Bomb from the middle turnbuckle.

Jack drops an elbow on D-Von over on the ramp. Buh Buh runs over with a cookie sheet, Jack takes it and hits both Dudleyz with it. D-Von steals it, Jack ducks and he hits his own half-brother with it. The Dudleyz recover and hit a 3D on the ramp, most of Jack landing on Buh Buh so they didn’t really get all of it. This effectively take Jack out of commission, leaving Spike to fend for himself. Spike hits the Acid Drop on Big Dick and D-Von, covering D-Von for the 1…2…Spike moves and Buh Buh accidentally splashes his brother then also eats an Acid Drop. Spike covers then moves so Big Dick splashes Buh Buh accidentally. Spike goes for another Acid Drop on Big Dick but Big Dick throws him off and he falls victim to the 3D for the 1…2…3. Dudley Boyz win. (Time Not Recorded)

The Dudley Boyz defeated New Jack & Spike Dudley when Buh Buh pinned Spike following the 3D (TIME NOT RECORDED)

A big fat mess of chaotic nonsense. I love Spike Dudley and The Dudley Boyz are all-time greats as a tag team but for some reason I just couldn’t get into this one. Was just too all over the place to really focus. I’m sure that was the point but doesn’t mean I enjoyed it. I’ll give it a little boost for Spike being insane and allowing himself to be tossed into the crowd twice as well as New Jack doing his guitar spot which I always enjoy though. There’s far better and crazier tag team matches between these two worth checking out at some point if you ever get bored and wanna go down a YouTube rabbit hole. Balcony jumps and stuff. This era of wrestling was nuts. (*1/4)

D-Von drags New Jack by the leg back into the ring and attack him some more. D-Von gets on the mic and goes through the 3 Commandments of the Dudleyz: 1. thou shalt not steal, 2. thou shalt not kill, and 3. thou shalt not FUCK with the Dudleyz. Hey WWE Network didn’t bleep that out. Cool. Props to them. Jack, now busted open enough to have the blood POOL ON THE DAMN MAT, suffers for punishment as D-Von comes off the top and drives a chair through his skull. Buh Buh proclaims that New Jack and Spike are both dead. He says they have beaten every tag team in ECW history, namedropping The Gangstas and The Eliminators, sent Sandman packing, broke Beulah McGillicutty’s neck, yadda yadda. Buh Buh says there’s only one tag team left for them to beat to prove they are the greatest team in ECW history and lays down a challenge to The Public Enemy for January 16th at the ECW Arena. Public Enemy would show up but only for one match and soon after bolted to the WWF to get buried and potatoed to mush for having bad attitudes. But hey we didn’t know that was going to happen at the time so in context this is a pretty big match to announce: the original establishment vs. the new establishment. What could have been.

-Styles reiterates that Masato Tanaka won’t be here tonight then segues into a highlight reel of the ECW Television Champion Rob Van Dam. ONE OF A KI-wait wait that’s later.

–Lance Storm makes his way to the ring, led by the impossibly gorgeous Dawn Marie. Crowd is chanting something but I can’t tell what it is, probably some real gross. Storm says it’s pretty obvious he’s not having a three way dance tonight because Spike Dudley, one of the opponents, already took the beating he had planned and Jerry Lynn, his other scheduled opponent, is dealing with a cracked pelvis he gave him. Storm says it frees him up for bigger and better things, meaning the Television Championship. He calls Rob Van Dam out and the Whole F’N Show obliges. Marie is currently being called ‘Tammy Lynn Bytch’ as a knock against Storm’s former tag team partner Chris Candido and his wife Tammy Lynn Sytch. It’s horrendously stupid though so I’m gonna just ignore that. Cool? Cool. Van Dam’s WWE Network replacement theme is not even close to his actual theme (‘Walk’ by Pantera…or Kilgore if we’re going by the ECW theme CD they released back in the day). COME ON.

“The Whole F’N Show” Rob Van Dam [c] [w/ Bill Alfonso] vs. Lance Storm [w/ Dawn Marie] for the ECW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP

RVD is also one-half of the ECW World Tag Team Champions alongside (BUT WHAT ABOUT) Sabu but with that man currently involved in the Shane Douglas/Taz conflict that’s taken a bit of a backseat to their singles objectives. HEY REMEMBER ALFONSO CONSTANTLY BLOWING HIS WHISTLE AND HOW ANNOYING IT WAS? It still is. It very much still is.

Some chain wrestling to start as the crowd charmingly chant ‘SHE’S A CRACK WHORE’ and ‘SHOW YOUR TITS’ at Dawn Marie. No wonder people made fun of me for being a wrestling fan back then, jeeeesus. Storm with a thumb to the eye and a series of rights, RVD rolls under a clothesline and hits a dropkick for an early two-count. Storm whips RVD into the ropes and rolls into a single-leg Boston Crab. Alfonso gets creepy with Dawn Marie so Storm releases the hold to defend his girlfriend LIKE A REAL MAN. This leaves him prone and RVD takes advantage with a guillotine legdrop. RVD drops Storm across the guardrail and follows up with a corkscrew legdrop. Alfonso jaws at the camera which mercifully stops the whistling for a few seconds. Back in the ring RVD drops Storm with a front-facing double underhook slam for another two-count. Storm leapfrogs RVD and catches him with a superkick outta nowhere. Storm connects with a running European uppercut in the corner followed by a dropkick, RVD dropping to the mat like a sack of potatoes. Alfonso checks on his man but he’s not too concerned because it’s the Whole F’N Show, after all. RVD catches Storm with a forearm and goes for a springboard something or another but Storm counters with a dropkick and he goes crashing into the guardrail instead. Oof. Storm follows up with a baseball slide and RVD oversells it, flying into the first few rows of the crowd. RVD whips Storm into the guardrail then hits a springboard senton and both men are down, surrounded by a SUPER COOL CROWD that is WAY TOO MATURE FOR THAT WWF/WCW SHIT. Storm catches RVD with an inverted DDT, cracking his skull on the concrete. RVD tries another springboard off the guardrail and gets dropkicked in the face for his troubles. Storm goes back to the ring and springboards off the rope, over the guardrail, and into RVD. Those Calgary boys have hops!

RVD tells the camera he isn’t worried, that he’s just getting started. He tries to pose for the crowd for some reason and Storm brings him to the apron. RVD tries some sort of top rope moves, Storm crotches him and goes for a belly-to-back superplex. RVD tries to fight him off so Storm crotches him again. RVD lands on his feet after getting superplexed off, then traps Storm in an inverted surfboard. RVD kicks him off then hits the Rolling Thunder, right now just known as a tumbling senton, and covers for the 1…2…kickout. RVD whips Storm into the corner, Storm jumps to the top rope and hits a springboard back elbow for the 1…2…champ ain’t down yet. Alfonso throws RVD a chair, Storm grabs it and hits RVD but holds it too close to his face, leaving him open for a Van Daminator then sends him out to the floor. Crowd wants RVD to bring him into the crowd but instead he rolls him into the ring. Dawn Marie distracts the ref, Storm with a low blow and inside cradle for the 1…2…NOPE. RVD ducks a spinkick and hits one of his own. Alfonso throws RVD a chair and RVD accidentally clears the ref with the Van Daminator. Storm then kicks the chair into RVD’s head and covers but the ref is out cold so his only pinfall is visual. Dawn Marie tries to wake the ref up, Alfonso gets in the ring and tries to hit Storm. Storm takes the chair and RVD comes off the top rope and hits another Van Daminator, the ref waking up to count the 1…2…STORM KICKS OUT. RVD and Storm trade slaps, RVD angrily takes his head off with a clothesline but misses the Five Star Frog Splash. Storm goes for a powerbomb, RVD and Storm continually counter one another’s moves, RVD catching Storm with a bridging German suplex for the 1…2…3! RVD retains. (17:46)

Rob Van Dam [c] defeated Lance Storm via pinfall with a German Suplex to retain the ECW TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP (17:46)

Unbearable whistling and dumb crowd chants aside this was a really good match. Had everything you wanted: nearfalls, chain rasslin’, and some fun spots including Storm taking a page out of RVD’s book by hitting a plancha into the crowd. Great stuff here, definitely makes up for the n0-shows and cancellations tonight. They’ve probably had better matches at other times but I really really dug this one a lot. (****)

-Somber piano music plays as we get video hyping the feud between Tommy Dreamer and Justin Credible. Lots o’ Singapore Canes and some Terry Funk. Also I don’t know if this piano is a WWE Network post-production thing or not but it’s hilarious either way.

STAIRWAY TO HELL
‘The Innovator of Violence’ Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible [w/ Jason, Nicole Bass, & Jazz]

At least Dreamer’s knock-off music is similar to his original ‘Man in the Box’ ECW theme. He comes out carrying the ladder to be used in this one, setting it up on the entrance ramp to chill there ominously. Stairway to Hell is a ladder match with a catchy name plus pinfall/submissions. Instead of a title or anything though, a Singapore Cane is hanging above the ring. In retrospect Justin Credible is a goofy pun name but at the time I thought it was brilliant. I was a big JC mark, even back in the Aldo Montoya days.

Dreamer takes Credible down with a series of double chops and a kick to the balls when Credible tries a corner float-over. Dreamer clotheslines Credible and himself out to the floor, Credible reverses a whip and sends his opponent crashing into the guardrail. Credible charges at Dreamer, Dreamer gets a boot up and drops him throat-first on the steel. Dreamer scares some people away who were sitting at a table at ringside then brings a chair in the ring but before he can use it Credible beats him to the punch. Credible brings him out of the corner with a Liger Bomb and tosses him onto the elevated entrance ramp. He sets up a chair and sends him throat-first into the steel with a drop toehold Raven-style. Lots of dumb chants from the dumb crowd, including a ‘SHE’S THE MAN’ banger directed at Bass. Dreamer mounts a comeback, connecting with a Dreamer Driver (Greetings from Asbury Park) and bringing the ladder ringside. Credible and Jason try to baseball slide it into his face but Dreamer dodges it and smashes them both in the skull. Dummies. Dreamer bridges the ring and guardrail with the ladder and a fan hands him a cooking sheet so he can crack Credible in the skull. Dreamer with an Electric Chair and he sends Credible crashing into the ladder. Dreamer slides the ladder in the ring and leans it in the corner, then proceeds to slingshot Credible right into it to the joy of the crowd. Dreamer with a World’s Strongest Slam on the ladder, but misses an elbowdrop from the middle rope, hurting his arm. Credible works over the arm, putting it under the ladder and smashing said ladder with a chair. Yup, that’ll do it. Even my arm hurts now. Or it’s onset Carpal Tunnel from writing recaps that are way too long and dull. Pick one.

Dreamer reverses a corner Irish whip and sends Credible into the ladder, who riochets out to the floor. Credible responds by grabbing Dreamer from the apron and sending him crashing to the floor with a suplex. Back inside the ring Credible goes for a superplex but Dreamer counters it and sends him face-first to the mat. Jason tries while the ref is distracted by Bass but he fails as well. He sets up for a Double DDT but Jazz interferes with a low-blow and a snap suplex. Dreamer wants to hit her with a DDT but it’s stopped with a clothesline from Jason. Credible goes for a sliding kick in the corner but misses and goes dick-first into the ring post. Dreamer with a Spicolli Driver, then lays the ladder over the rope so he can slingshot right into Credible’s face. Luckily Credible doesn’t end up like Joey Mercury would a few years later. Dreamer climbs the ladder to retrieve the Singapore Cane but Credible pulls him back to the mat. Credible lays a chair across the top turnbuckle, then lays the ladder across the top rope. Not sure what he’s trying to do yet. He lays Dreamer on the ladder and dumps it over, sending Dreamer through the table on the floor. HE DEAD. Or maybe he’s not as he recovers enough to send Credible into the chair on the top turnbuckle. Credible has no one to blame but himself for that one. Dreamer whips Credible into the ladder, Credible counters a DDT by shoving him into the ladder and hammer throwing him into the opposite corner. Credible with another ladder whip followed by a swinging DDT. I don’t think that ladder is usable for climbing anymore at this point, yikes. Credible puts Dreamer’s head into one of the rungs and rams the ladder into the turnbuckle almost taking that mothertrucker’s head off HOLY HELL.

Understandably Dreamer crumples to the floor and Credible brings a new ladder into play. Credible gets it climb-ready but in comes a bloodied Dreamer with another ladder which he sets up right next to it. LET THE RACE BEGIN (Credible is nowhere near it). Dreamer grabs Credible and wrecks him with a Dream Cutter, which would be one of the big highlights in future ECW TV intro videos. Dreamer climbs the ladder and retrieves the Singapore Cane but he has to untie it so it takes a second. Dreamer jumps off the ladder and hits a leaping DDT on Credible, then ties him up in the ropes. Dreamer gets ready to tee off on Credible but out comes Terry Funk who cracks him in the skull with a trash can. Credible takes the Cane and whacks Dreamer in the eye, then finishes him off with That’s Incredible on the ladder for the 1…2…3! (18:44)

Justin Credible defeated Tommy Dreamer via pinfall with That’s Incredible (18:44)

A fun ladder match with some memorable spots and Dreamer once again sacrificing his body for the sake of the company he works for. I have no idea how this guy is still walking nowadays, let alone wrestling. Credit to Credible too for holding up his end of the match, dishing out punishment and also taking some good bumps of his own. I liked this way more than I expected to. (***)

Funk continues beating on Dreamer with the trash can, but Dreamer won’t fight back because it’s his idol and father figure. Only Terry Funk can look menacing in sweatpants. Styles plays up the (hopefully) eventual Dreamer/Funk match. I forget if they went through with that or not, or if Funk left before it really took off.

-Steven Prazak interviews Taz in his dressing room. Taz snaps at Prazak for saying stupid things and kicks him out of the interview to take it over. Taz predicts himself as the new ECW World Champion, finishes with ‘Beat me if you can, Survive if I Let You’.

-Cut to Shane Douglas and Francine in his dressing room. Douglas weirdly throws shade at Sid first then turns his attention to Taz. His right arm is in a cast. Douglas refuses to give up the belt that he made. ‘IT’S MY BELT, IT’S MY BELT, IT’S MY BELT’. He’s losing his mind…and I’m reaping all of the benefits.

“The Franchise” Shane Douglas [c] [w/ Francine] vs. Taz for the ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

This match has been in the making for a year and is Taz’s first shot at the World Heavyweight Championship. We already went through the story behind this one earlier in the recap so I won’t repeat it at you, I’m not an episode of RAW. I’ll trust you remember what happened like 3000 words ago. Douglas has a compound wrist fracture, hence the cast. Good to know.

Bell rings and they lock up, trading side headlock takeovers and headscissorseseses leading to an early stalemate. More chain rasslin’, Douglas complains of a tights pull after kicking out of a pinfall attempt. I guess this one is gonna be a slow burn, fair enough. I figured they’d go right at each other full force given the year of animosity but oh well. Taz hits Douglas with an overhead Tazplex and out goes The Franchise to the floor. Taz demands he get back into the ring but Douglas takes his time, using the count to his advantage. Douglas chokes Taz in the corner, cracking his skull across the top of his head. Taz reverses an Irish whip and counters a float-over with an Alabama Slam. A clothesline forces Douglas to once again roll to the floor. This time Taz follows and blasts Douglas with multiple right hands. Douglas throws Taz into the guardrail and spills into the crowd. Douglas climbs the guardrail and connects with a crossbody, the highest spot I’ve ever seen Douglas pull off. Nice. Francine tries to look on but she’s not getting involved in that ish. Can’t blame her.

The brawl continues through the crowd but luckily this is ECW and the rules are only suggestions so there’s not going to be a countout cop-out finish or anything. Taz drives Douglas into a chair, Douglas repeatedly hits some cast-assisted right hands. Douglas blocks a suplex attempts and shoves him into an iron railing separating the upper decker fans. Douglas charges, Taz backdrops him over the railing and we go even deeper into the crowd. Now this is what I expected, honestly. Taz poses for the crowd and drops Douglas face-first on a concrete divider. Bet those back row folk didn’t expect. A bloodied Douglas grabs a chair and whacks a fallen Taz with it, though we can’t see it from the camera angle we were given. They start fighting their way back towards the ring, Taz with an overhead Tazplex onto some sort of wooden landing thing? I don’t know what that could even be used for. They make it back to ringside, Douglas and Francine throwing a table into the ring. Douglas sets it up in the corner and measures the also-bloody Taz. He kicks him, Taz wants more. They trade blows, Douglas throws Taz through the table head-first and covers for the 1…2…Taz kicks out. Douglas brings a second table into the ring and it gets caught in the ropes leading to an awkward moment of trying to fix it. Douglas tries to put him through another corner table, but Taz counters and sends him through the wood with a Tazplex and covers for the 1…2…kickout.

Suddenly the lights go out and a whole bunch of pyro explode above the ring and at the entrance. SABU IS HERE. Sabu attacks both men, wanting revenge on everybody. Sabu hits Taz with a chair and sends both out to the floor, Sabu hitting a springboard moonsault on mostly Taz but Douglas falls down too. Almost, man. Sabu lays Douglas across a bridging table that was set up at some point and hits a springboard legdrop to send him through it. Sabu throws a chair at Taz’s head, sets up another table and puts him through it with a Superfly Splash. Sabu leaves the ring and Douglas rolls in, covering Taz with one arm for the 1…2…Taz kicks out. Douglas holds up the three fingers looking for his Triple Threat group but they disbanded awhile ago. Suddenly in comes Tammy Lynn Sytch runs in to go at Francine. Chris Candido tries to separate them, Francine hits her with a spear and they keep them separated. Candido then turns on his former Triple Threat boss with a right hand. Douglas watches his former friend leave, leaving him open for the Tazmission. Douglas manages to escape for a second but Taz immediately reapplies the hold and brings him to the mat, wrapping his legs around him. Douglas fights and fights, flipping Taz off as he passes out. Taz is the new ECW World Champion! (22:16)

Taz defeated Shane Douglas [c] via KO with the Tazmission to win the ECW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP (22:16)

I don’t like using the word ‘overbooked’ a lot in reviews, especially when it comes to ECW shows because that was just the style really, but this match certainly had a lot going on. A LOT. Fighting through the crowd, Sabu getting revenge, The Triple Threat which had already disbanded disbanding again, a whole lot of stuff. Even two seconds of a goddamn catfight. Phew. I’m exhausted and it barely went longer than 20 minutes. Overall though I liked it and everything that happened made sense in the context of the various storylines. Taz and Douglas hate each other, so brawling into the crowd felt natural as they tried to kill each other. Sabu interfering and making his big return made sense since one manipulated him and the other broke his friggin’ neck taking him out of what was supposed to be his title shot, of course he’d interfere. The Triple Threat stuff…I guess is setting up a Douglas face turn maybe? I don’t know. Either way a lot happened here but it all made sense in the grand scheme of things and was pretty entertaining with only the first few minutes being slow. Plus it ended with Taz finally proving his badassery and winning the big one. This one probably won’t be a lot of people’s cup of tea but I liked it. (***1/4)

Taz celebrates and ECW pimps their next PPV with a graphic as the show ends.