COMMENTATORS: Matt Striker & Vampiro
New blood comes to Lucha Underground this week as Fenix, Pentagon Jr., and Drago make their debut in the main event against one another. Also on the show Mil Muertes adds another body to the pile, Mascarita Sagrada makes El Mariachi Loco play a new tune, and Johnny Mundo continues running afoul of Dario Cueto.
- Mascarita Sagrada vs. El Mariachi Loco (**3/4)
- Ricky Mandel vs. Mil Muertes (SQUASH)
- Drago vs. Pentagon Jr. vs. Fenix (****1/4)
-LAST WEEK: Chavo Guerrero Jr. surprises the world by attacking Blue Demon Jr. and Sexy Star with a chair.
–Konnan brags about the people he’s bringing in from Mexico to Dario Cueto, including Fenix, Pentagon Jr., and Drago. He says without these boys Cueto doesn’t have much of a league; Cueto asks if they’re ready to fight and offers to put them against three of his younger luchadores. Konnan agrees and both men stare each other doing Mr. Burns things with their hands because they’re EVIL.
–Melissa Santos welcomes Dario Cueto to the ring, the luchador in the ring trying to silence them. Cueto talks about the complaints that there is not enough “Lucha” in Lucha Underground, and has got some Lucha for them tonight. The luchador in the ring is introduced as El Mariachi Loco, as crazy in the ring as he is on the trumpet. Cueto says there’s no challenge too big for Loco…and out comes his mini opponent Mascarita Sagrada! Eyyyy!
- Dario Cueto being a dismissive asshole and booking what he thinks is a lesser lucha to make fun of the fans is pretty great.
Mascarita Sagrada vs. El Mariachi Loco
Loco mocks Sagrada to start, asking for a test of strength and making Sagrada jump for it. Loco gets on his knees and fakes a handshake, Sagrada makes him pay with an enzuigiri. Sagrada goes around the world and takes Loco to the canvas with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors followed by a springboard armdrag. Sagrada sends Loco to the floor with an armdrag, follows up with a cannonball through the ropes! Back in the ring Loco boots Sagrada across the ring, Sagrada catches him with a shoulder to the gut followed by a flying hurricanrana and a roll-up for the 1…2…Loco kicks out and attacks Sagrada, throwing him around. Loco “connects” with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the 1…2…not yet. Loco does a dance, hits a superkick, and drops him face-first on the canvas. Loco takes too long to dance and misses a senton, Sagrada drills him with a tilt-a-whirl DDT for the 1…2…Loco kicks out! Loco blocks a DDT, Sagrada turns it into a choke and as Loco fades turns it into an inside cradle for the 1…2…3!
Mascarita Sagrada defeated El Mariachi Loco via pinfall (4:38)
- Sagrada f*cking owns and this match was great. Despite all the height he gave up every move he hit had impact and torque to it and his wrestling down of Loco into a small package was brilliant. Not sure if El Mariachi Loco is a real wrestler or a gimmick they made up just for the opening bit from Cueto but I think it’s awesome and I kinda hope he sticks around in some capacity. (**3/4)
Chavo Guerrero Jr. attacks Sagrada after the bell, Vampiro LOVING it because he’s a jerk like that.
-PREVIOUSLY RECORDED: Vampiro catches up with Chavo Guerrero Jr. in the empty Temple. Vampiro throws some shade, saying Chavo has won titles here and there but has mostly coasted on his family name. Chavo says he’s now leading his family and is doing it HIS way instead of theirs. Vampiro brings up Guerrero tapping out to Blue Demon Jr. two weeks ago then attacking him at the end of last week’s show. Guerrero mocks Blue Demon Jr. for living off his Dad’s legacy, sucking even in his prime. Guerrero is tired of being “the opponent” and has come to Lucha Underground to make himself a star. He’s the man Dario Cueto wants if he truly wants violence. Guerrero says he’s been a champion everywhere he’s gone but not Lucha Underground, and will put people in the hospital to become one if he has to. Guerrero says Blue Demon Jr. knows who’s better now, and he’s here to stay and dominate.
- I think LU Chavo is going to be my favorite version yet. Great promo, solid motivation, made a good case for being LU’s first big bad.
–Chavo Guerrero Jr. runs into Konnan somewhere backstage I assume. Konnan says they’ve always been like family and lets him know the family in Mexico know what they did to Blue Demon Jr. and only a matter of time before they find out what he did to Mascarita Sagrada. Konnan advises Guerrero to disappear because “they” are coming. Konnan leaves, the lights flicker, and Mil Muertes appears. Muerte walks off, lights flicker again, and Catrina appears, saying that one day Guerrero will belong to Mil Muertes.
- Oh damn.
-As Mil Muertes and Catrina head to the ring, show cuts to a video package going over Muertes’ backstory. Muertes lost his entire family in an Earthquake and was buried alive in the rubble. For seven days he thought death was coming but didn’t feel fear, he felt comfort. When Muertes finally emerged, he brought all that death with him because that’s where he found warmth and strength. Before the Earthquake he was Pasqual Mendoza, but after rising from the ruins he became MIL MUERTES.
- YESSSSSS BITCH GIMME THE WEIRDO BACKSTORIES.
Ricky Mandel vs. Mil Muertes [w/ Catrina]
Mandel tries to use his quickness to overcome Muertes’ power but gets speared out of his damn boots and chopped into mince meat in the corner. Catrina even gets involved, yanking Mandel throat-first into the bottom rope. Striker acts creepy towards Catrina, Muertes misses a corner splash and Mandel follows up with a dropkick. Mandel flies off the top and into a right hand from Muertes, finishing him off with a Flatliner for the 1…2…3.
Mil Muertes defeated Ricky Mandel via pinfall (2:38)-D
- Could’ve done without Striker & Vampiro creeping on Catrina and also Catrina being on the apron for no reason, but overall a fun squash. That spear looked like it straight up killed Mandel. (SQUASH)
Catrina licks Mandel then makes out with Muertes. Ew, y’all.
–Johnny Mundo strolls up to Dario Cueto’s office but gets stopped by Cortez Castro and Cisco, who are outside his door. They ask if he has the password, Mundo has their password: A BEAT DOWN. Awwww yeah, 80s action movie AF. Mundo enters Dario Cueto’s office and says he’s here to work with him, demanding a match with Big Ryck next week. Cueto agrees and signs it for the main event of next week’s show. Before he leaves Mundo warns Cueto that once he’s done with Big Ryck he’s next. Chef’s kiss, y’all.
–Big Ryck gets a couple of stacks from Dario Cueto to put Johnny Mundo in the hospital next week.
-VIDEO: A more intimate look at Prince Puma, narrated by Konnan. Puma fights for his ancestors and for all the doubters who said he’d never make anything of his life.
Drago vs. Pentagon Jr. vs. Fenix
They made it sound like these three were teaming tonight, not wrestling each other. Definitely not complaining, just surprised. Fenix gets the MOST shine of the three, called the future of Lucha Libre. His mask makes him look like a rooster.
Pentagon clears Fenix and Drago from the ring, follows up with a tope con hilo. Pentagon tries again, Fenix catches him with a kick instead. Back in the ring Fenix tosses Drago onto Pentagon on the floor, Drago turning it into a torneo and Fenix immediately following up with another corkscrew splash. Drago sweeps the legs of Fenix and connects with a multi-revolution tilt-a-whirl DDT. Pentagon runs in, drops Drago with a Sling Blade and a superkick. Fenix locks knuckles with Pentagon and connects with a springboard armdrag, hopping around the ropes like it’s second nature to him. Fenix counters a power bomb with a snap rana, Pentagon rolls to the floor. Deago runs in and drills Fenix with a Destroyer DDT. Fenix rolls to the apron, Pentagon runs in and connects with a package driver for the 1…2…not yet. Pentagon jumps, Fenix catches him on the way down with a cutter, popping Striker. It’s JUST now hitting the 4 minute mark, my GAWD. Drago gets caught in a tree of woe, Fenix takes Pentagon to the mat with a springboard rana. Drago rolls Fenix back into a backstabber from Pentagon. Fenix bails up the steps of the Temple as Drago & Pentagon duke it out. Pentagon drops Drago with a HARD chop. Drago sends Pentagon to the floor with an dramdrag, follows up with a twisting tope, FENIX FLATTENS BOTH WITH A CROSSBODY FROM THE TOP OF DARIO CUETO’S OFFICE MY WOOOOOOORD. Drago dodges Fenix who runs into the post, Pentagon connects with a package piledriver and rolls him into Fenix who hits a driver of his own. Fenix dodges a kick and connects with a POISON RANA on Pentagon for the 1…2…3!
Fenix defeated Drago & Pentagon Jr. via pinfall (7:46)
- HOLY SH*T WHAT A MATCH. My heart is racing. A tremendous debut from all three men, especially Fenix who had the spot of the match and picked up the win. Oh man. I need to fan myself after that. Talk about a statement match. (****1/4)
-Striker & Vampiro sign off but during the credits we see Dario Cueto outside of a jail cell, saying he won’t be intimidated by Johnny Mundo or anyone…even the man imprisoned who casts a DARK SHADOW over Cueto.
Excellent main event, great cheesy 80s action movie segment with Johnny Mundo, Chavo Guerrero Jr. being the most interesting heel he’s ever been, I have nothing to really hate on with this episode.
- FAVORITE MATCH: Drago vs. Pentagon Jr. vs. Fenix
- FAVORITE MOMENT: Johnny Mundo beats up Casto & Cisco in a scene straight out of an 80s flick.