Commentators: Rich Bocchini & Tony Schiavone
This week on it’s all about the WAR CHAMBER as Tom Lawlor teams with Low-Ki and The Von Erich Brothers to take on CONTRA Unit in Von Erich Country.
- MLW WORLD CHAMPION: “The Samoan Werewolf” Jacob Fatu
- MLW NATIONAL OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION: Alexander Hammerstone
- MLW WORLD MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPION: Teddy Hart
- MLW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Dynasty (MJF & Richard Holliday)
- Leo Brien vs. Mike Banks (?)
- WAR CHAMBER: Tom Lawlor, Low-Ki, & The Von Erichs vs. CONTRA Unit (***)
-VIDEO: CONTRA Unit’s reign of terror in MLW, Tom Lawlor & Friends are ready to go to war in the WAR CHAMBER.
Leo Brien vs. Mike Banks (?)
Brien left pro wrestling to be a bounty hunter but now he’s back to FOIGHT. His opponent is wearing sweatpants and tennis shoes, so I don’t like his chances. Supposedly the guy’s name is Mike Banks? Brien wins in short order with the Oklahoma Stampede.
Leo Brien defeated Mike Banks (?) via pinfall (1:27)
- I appreciate Leo Brien being all Stan Hansen-y. Hopefully we get a Bunkhouse Match between Brien and Ol’ Mancer. (SQUASH)
LA Park and Salina de la Renta show up after the match, the former beating up Banks and the ref with his chair. The chairman has a seat, using the ref as a footrest, as de la Renta introduces Park. The crowd LOVE him and Park feeds into it, strutting and dancing. Salina announces that Park will be cashing in his golden ticket at MLW Saturday Night Superfight, MLW’s first PPV, to challenge for the World Championship. Fatu vs. Park as a PPV main event? Ehhhhh let’s see the rest of the card.
-Replay of the announcement we just watched two seconds ago.
-H2 TV: Teddy Hart is at a local honkey rink in Calgary and makes a joke about saying “pussy” or some sh*t. Don’t stand too close to Teddy Hart, you may cut yourself on his edge. Hart says he takes wrestling seriously as a sport, and also talks about all the real sports he’s competed in. Hart gets Richard Holliday’s name wrong but rolls with it, saying he has made such a low impression of him his name has never stuck in his head. THAT WAS VERY BAD. Hart Foundation vs. Dynasty in 2 out of 3 Falls match next week for the Tag Team Championship.
–Kevin Von Erich, Ross Von Erich, and Marshall Von Erich visit the former site of the Sportatorium and Kevin waxes nostalgic about his time there. Kevin talks about why he wrestled barefoot (felt better than wearing sweaty boots in the TX heat). Kevin gets emotional about seeing his sons put their hearts and souls into wrestling the way he did. Aw.
-Ring announcer goes over the rules of War Chamber. It’s War Games. Also he says the NyTex Sports Center is in Dallas. IT IS NOT, it’s in North Richland Hills which is like 30 minutes away and is more a suburb of Fort Worth than it is of Dallas. Like Daniel Bryan I HATE LIARS.
“Filthy” Tom Lawlor, Low-Ki, & The Von Erichs (Ross & Marshall Von Erich) [w/ Kevin Von Erich] vs. CONTRA Unit (Jacob Fatu, Josef Samael, Simon Gotch, & Ikuro Kwon)
Marshall Von Erich and Simon Gotch start the match, Kevin Von Erich accompanying his son. They trade forearms, Gotch with a series of strikes but he runs into a dropkick which stops the flurry. Marshall with a corner clothesline followed by a cannonball. Marshall with a chinlock, Gotch powers out but eats a forearm to the mush. Snapmare into a sliding clothesline, Gotch with a series of kicks as he returns to a vertical base. Marshall slows things down with a side headlock takeover, an…odd choice of a move for a match like this, but whatever I’ll roll with it. Gotch counters into a headscissors, Marshall escapes and slides back into a side headlock. A wrestling match breaking out in a WAR CHAMBER. Both men trade chops, crowd gets eerily quiet which I can’t blame them because this is not what I would call a hot start. I’m sure it’s going to rock later.
Josef Samael runs out to give CONTRA a 2-on-1 advantage. The heels won the coin toss? SHOCKING. The mat has bloodstains on it so I think we’re in for a crazy match on the next couple weeks’ worth of shows. Marshall tries to fight off both men but the DAMNED NUMBERS GAME and all that. Gotch puts in some sort of shooter submission as Samael stomps him with his pointy Sheik boots.
“Filthy” Tom Lawlor is out next for Team Von Erich, and he’s ANGRY. Corner splash to Samael, Marshall with a flying forearm in the corner to Gotch. Punching and kicking and punching and kicking.
Jacob Fatu is out for CONTRA and he’s immediately attacked by Lawlor and Marshall. Fatu fights them off and counters a flying Lawlor with a Samoan drop. Marshall flies into Fatu, who throws him to the mat with a urinage. Fatu squashes Lawlor into the cage with a handspring kick, immediately followed by a standing moonsault to Marshall. Okay that was cool. Samael and Gotch beat on Lawlor while Fatu works over Marshall. Samael BITES Lawlor’s cauliflower ear, ewwww.
Low-Ki is here and he’s about to kick somebody into smithereens. Samael tries to stop him from entering, Ki smashes the cage door in his face. Gotch belts Ki with a European uppercut, Ki responds with a springboard kick. Ki buries elbows into Gotch in the corner but nobody counts along. That’s sad but we’re in the south and only like 10% of the population know how to count so I get it. Samael is BUSTED OPEN.
Final member of CONTRA, Ikuro Kwon, makes his way out, and we get a straight up martial arts fight straight out of a Van Damme movie. I LOVE IT. Fatu throws Ki into the cage, Kwon works on Marshall. Samael’s got an impressive crimson mask going.
Ross Von Erich is the final man out, and War Chamber OFFICIALLY BEGINS. Crowd goes NUTS as he lays waste to CONTRA Unit with all of the kicks. Marshall drops Gotch with an Iron Claw back suplex. Fatu goes after Ross, Ross sends him flying with a hurricanrana and a Yakuza Kick. YEAH. Lawlor does some MMA sh*t followed by a belly-to-back suplex on Gotch, Samael clobbers Lawlor and covers, but only gets a 1-count. PINFALLS IN A WAR GAMES. Crazy stuff. Fatu chokes Ross with his wrist tape, Samael tears at Lawlor’s face. Lots o’ punching and kicking and choking, nothing worth recapping going on right now honestly. It’s not bad but there’s just a lot happening so it’s blending together. Samael covers Ross after a gutwrench suplex, Lawlor breaks up the count. Kevin Von Erich shown at ringside yelling out inaudible advice. Ki and Kwon battle in the corner, but still no one counts along with his elbows! I hope they get a singles match together at some point and do martial arts spots.
Samael tries to climb out of the cage despite the top being covered in barbed wire. Samael decides against it and clobbers Ross with a tope rope double axhandle. Lawlor with a corner dropkick on Fatu but barely gets a one-count off the lateral press. Marshall slams Fatu, then slams Kwon onto his own partner. Samael yells at Kevin Von Erich, Marshall attacks from behind to defend the honor of his dad. MUTA LOCK from Lawlor onto Gotch. Fatu gets Ross on his shoulder, Marshall applies the Claw but Fatu spins Ross’ feet into him then puts Ross damn near through the canvas with a pop-up Samoan drop. Ki and Samael climb on the top rope and drives his skull into the barbed wire. Suddenly A MASKED MAN shows up to try and get in the cage, Kevin Von Erich pulls him off and lays him out with the Claw to pop the crowd. Who the f*ck? Was that a WMAC Masters goon? Lawlor measures Samael and cinches in a rear-naked choke. Samael breaks loose, Kwon with the EVIL ASIAN MIST and Fatu with a superkick. MOONSAULT from Fatu for the 1…2…Low-Ki breaks it up with a double stomp. Gotch goes for a piledriver on Ross, Marshall locks him in THE CLAW. Ross picks Gotch up in an electric chair and we get a DOOMSDAY CLAW for the 1…2…3.
Tom Lawlor, Low-Ki, & The Von Erichs defeated Contra Unit via pinfall (30:17)
- Not enough action to justify the length of this match, but there were some fun spots and moments and I can’t hate on a War Games match. Plus making up a new CONTRA Unit member just for Kevin Von Erich to get his Claw spot in was HILARIOUS. I hope that guy never shows up again, to be honest. (***)
Team Von Erich celebrate their victory while CONTRA Unit lick their wounds on the floor.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Your enjoyment of the episode will depend on how much you enjoy the War Chamber. Me? I thought it was pretty good, way too long but still good, so overall I’d consider this a worthwhile use of time. Can’t help but smile at Kevin Von Erich having the time of his life with his sons. If any man deserves to be happy it’s Kevin goddamn Von Erich.