By Jon
COMMENTATORS: Josh Matthews & Madison Rayne
This week’s Impact Wrestling features a pair of Victory Road rematches, a funeral for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, and The Motor City Machine Guns taking on Ace Austin & Madman Fulton in the main event.
CHAMPIONS
- IMPACT WORLD CHAMPION: Eric Young
- IMPACT KNOCKOUTS CHAMPION: “The Virtuosa” Deonna Purrazzo
- IMPACT X-DIVISION CHAMPION: Rohit Raju
- IMPACT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Motor City Machine Guns
LINEUP
- Tommy Dreamer vs. Brian Myers (*3/4)
- Jordynne Grace vs. Rohit Raju (NR)
- The Rascalz vs. XXXL (**)
- Rosemary & Taya Valkyrie vs. Kiera Hogan & Tasha Steelz (**1/4)
- The Deaners vs. Johnny Swinger & Crazzy Steve (*1/2)
- The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Ace Austin & Madman Fulton (***)
*****
-MONTAGE: Tag team chaos (Motor City Machine Guns, Good Brothers, The North, & Ace Austin/Madman Fulton), Eric Young retains his Impact Championship against Eddie Edwards at Victory Road this past weekend. Young attacks Edwards after the bell, his Bound For Glory opponent Rich Swann making the save.
TOMMY DREAMER DEFEATED BRIAN MYERS VIA DISQUALIFICATION (9:18)
- This was the third match between the two, Myers having bested Dreamer both times (including Victory Road).
- Myers introduced a kendo stick to the match, Dreamer got a hold of it but Myers tricked him into showing compassion (displaying his forearms tattooed with his daughters’ names on them), and used the stick on Dreamer causing the DQ.
- After the match Myers continued attacking Dreamer until refs, security, and producer Scott D’Amore finally got him to stop.
- I haven’t seen the other two matches but this one was okay. I appreciated Myers appealing to Dreamer’s soft side as a fellow father to get the advantage and his constant yelling that he was the Most Professional Wrestler. Dreamer being able to go longer than five minutes in a match feels like a miracle given the abuse he’s gone through over his career. (*3/4)
-VIDEO: Moose looked everywhere for his missing TNA World Heavyweight Championship, including a parking lot trash can.
-LOCKER ROOM: John E. Bravo asked his wedding party (Fallah Bahh, Cody Deaner, Cousin Jake, Alisha Edwards, Crazzy Steve, & the awesome Johnny Swinger) to pitch in and help pay. Bahh, the best man, offered to step up. Swinger and Deaner/Jake almost come to blows, Bravo asked about the fondue, and this was…something. Swinger using his goofy ass carny lingo was great as was Steve mentioning he’s over 100 years old so he’s not a young boy.
–Rohit Raju made his way to the ring for a pre-match promo. He called himself the most giving member of the Impact roster, handing out opportunities. He asked for someone on the roster to come take an opportunity, bringing out his Victory Road opponent Willie Mack. Raju refused to give him another chance, since he lost at said event, and asked for someone else. Out next was Jordynne Grace, much to Raju’s chagrin.
JORDYNNE GRACE DEFEATED ROHIT RAJU VIA PINFALL IN A NON-TITLE MATCH, APPARENTLY (1:12)
- Raju took his time getting ready, refusing to give the belt to the ref. Mack grabbed the title and a tug of war ensued, allowing Grace to roll up the champion.
- Grace was announced as the new X-Division Champion, Mack putting the belt around her waist, but Raju complained to the ref and David Penzer announced that it was a non-title match. Raju sarcastically thanks Grace for the match and congratulates her for the win but brags about still being champion.
- Scott D’Amore immediately caught Raju backstage and overexcitedly glowed about how “giving” Raju has been and announced that he will continue his ways at Bound For Glory in a Six-Person Scramble Match against Jordynne Grace, Willie Mack, TJP, Chris Bey, and Trey Miguel. D’Amore hugged Raju, who looked very much not on board with the situation.
–Hernandez was shown walking backstage, wad of cash hanging around his neck, when Fallah Bahh stopped him and asked for an arm wrestling match. Hernandez agreed, Bahh then “accidentally” spilled something on Hernandez, angering the mustachioed man. No blows thrown, just a cunning plan by the best man.
THE RASCALZ (WENTZ & DEZ) DEFEATED XXXL (ACEY ROMERO & LARRY D) VIA PINFALL (6:24 SHOWN)
- Another Victory Road rematch, Rascalz having defeated XXL at the event.
- XXXL cleared Wentz from the ring and spent most of the match working on Dez; eventually Wentz got the tag and thanks to a mis-timed rolling clothesline from Romero to his own partner, got the win with the Hot Fire Flow on Larry D.
- Fun match here, The Rascalz overcoming the size disadvantage to outsmart XXXL leading to another win. They are really fun to watch. Backstage segments not so much but some people dig ‘em. Impact is THICC with tag teams right now, although XXXL might be headed towards a breakup. (**)
-Fallah Bahh stole Hernandez’s money chain while the latter was in the shower. THE PLAN HAS COME TOGETHER…for now.
–Jimmy Jacobs checked in with Dr. Foreman at a rehab center in Florida to get an update on Rich Swann heading into Bound For Glory. Foreman was very optimistic, as was Swann…until he was blinded by a disguised Eric Young who went right to work on the surgically-repaired leg, tying it to a workout bench and slamming a kettle ball on it.
-A backstage interview with The Motor City Machine Guns about their match tonight was interrupted by The Good Brothers, who vowed to watch their backs out of the kindness of their hearts so the champs could go into Bound For Glory…and lose the titles to them.
ROSEMARY & TAYA VALKYRIE DEFEATED KIERA HOGAN & TASHA STEELZ VIA PINFALL (9:13)
- Rosemary and Taya came out strong, muscling around their opponents until Hogan hit a superkick from the apron to Rosemary to turn the tide. Hogan & Steelz went to work, but eventually Valkyrie got the hot tag and it was strike city, Hogan & Steelz getting thrown around and into one another. They had a brief comeback, but Rosemary put an end to that with a spear and sit-out butterfly slam to Steelz for the win.
- At one point Havok and her partner Naveah were shown backstage watching the match but Matthews and Rayne completely ignored it.
- Damn good tag team match here, both teams had some great moments and I love the swagger of Hogan and Steelz. (**1/4)
- After the match we went back to an unimpressed Havok and Neveah, Matthews finally acknowledging them.
THE DEANERS (CODY & COUSIN JAKE DEANER) DEFEATED JOHNNY SWINGER & CRAZZY STEVE VIA PINFALL (2:59)
- Cody offered a beer to Steve to start. Steve took a swig then had his pet stuffed monkey chug it. An annoyed Swinger then tagged in and wrestled the rest of the match, Steve trying to offer weapons but only getting a spoon and fork. Swinger checked his fanny pack, which was empty, and decided to use the monkey as a weapon but Steve pulled it away and Cody took advantage with a DDT for the win.
- Entertaining but not much of a match. Not that it needed to be though, I guess. Johnny Swinger is just so goddamn fun. (*1/2)
-VICTORY ROAD CLIP: Deonna Purrazzo broke the arm of Susie while her best friend Kyle Rae was being held back by Kimber Lee.
-Backstage interview with Kylie Rae. Rae was obviously upset, mad that Susie was hurt despite how nice she is. Kimber Lee interrupted and told Rae all she saw was her future come Bound For Glory. Lee went on to call Susie bad and Rae immediately put the fists to her, much to her own surprise.
–Scott D’Amore caught up with Heath (Slater) in the, uh, kitchen of the arena? D’Amore admitted he was wrong and that Heath is a good dude. Heath thanked D’Amore for the opportunity. D’Amore said he had something on paper but got interrupted by Heath, who presented a contract of his own in a manilla folder. D’Amore commented about the amount of zeroes and rolled his sleeves up to get negotiations going. D’Amore said he would probably have to change some of it, including the number, but mentioned Heath’s past and how people normally do something first before asking for the payday. Heath told D’Amore to look at it again, D’Amore responded by saying he needed to earn it. He asked Heath to sign the D’Amore contract so they can work towards what Heath wanted. Heath got angry, D’Amore threw Heath’s version of the contract and angrily stormed out. Heath caught up with Rhino outside the office and vented his frustrations, including the fact he had a WWE deal offer after appearing on RAW with Drew McIntyre, blaming Rhino for his not taking it because he was told the grass was greaner here. Heath sarcastically thanked “Terry” and walked off, leaving his longtime friend speechless.
- I was skeptical about this story while reading about it, but I thought this segment ruled. Both men were in the right here; D’Amore knowing that Heath wasn’t exactly selling out arenas during his WWE time and Heath knowing his worth and asking for a lot of money. I enjoyed the back and forth and especially Heath scolding Rhino for talking him out of taking the WWE deal and trying to sign with Impact instead. This was great. Less “Heath is a loser lol” and more “Heath trying to overcome the stigma of his WWE run”.
–EC3 appeared outside, holding the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. He told Moose that he needed to break the attachment he had to the title and tossed it into the river below. EC3 concluded with a hard stare into the camera and the words “Free Moose”.
- Not much of a funeral, but okay. Team Canada wasn’t even in attendance.
–Sami Callihan caught up with Ken Shamrock backstage. Callihan asked what was wrong; Shamrock said Eddie Edwards didn’t deserve what was done to him, Callihan responded by showing how many likes and retweets it got. Callihan asked Shamrock who was next, Shamrock goozled Callihan then beat down on a random backstage guy, the old crazed look of 90s Attitude Era in his eyes. NICE.
-ANNOUNCED FOR NEXT WEEK:
- An update on Rich Swann’s condition following the attack seen earlier
- Rosemary & Taya Valkyrie vs. Kiera Hogan & Tasha Steelz vs. Havok & Naveah
- Kylie Rae vs. Kimber Lee
- DOC Gallows vs. Madman Fulton
THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS (ALEX SHELLEY & CHRIS SABIN) DEFEATED ACE AUSTIN & MADMAN FULTON VIA PINFALL (13:00)
- MCMG controlled early, working Austin’s left arm over while Fulton fumed on the apron desperate to get in. Finally he got his chance and instantly turned the tide, sending Shelley into Austin’s knees with a Snake Eyes followed by a big boot. Shelley took some punishment from there, including a papercut to the finger webbing courtesy of Austin’s playing card, but Shelley rebounded and sent Austin into his own partner, Fulton almost throwing hands at the insult. Sabin got the hot tag from there and connected with a missile dropkick to the back of Austin’s head but Fulton broke up the pinfall attempt. Shelley tagged back in, Sabin hitting Fulton with a penalty kick from the apron, but Fulton recovered to knock Sabin off the top turnbuckle. Shelley countered the Snake Eyes with a backpack sleeper, Sabin bringing the big man to one knee so the Guns could hit a double superkick followed by a double belly-to-back suplex. Austin broke up the pinfall but landed once again on his own partner, no doubt angering him further. The North (Ethan Page & Josh Alexander) tried to interfere but as promised The Good Brothers (DOC Gallows & Karl Anderson) stopped them and the Guns finished Fulton off with a neckbreaker/flying crossbody combo for the 1…2…3.
- Helluva main event. Fulton got his chance to shine throwing his much smaller opponents around and saying dumb nonsense like “you’re a machine but I’m a BAZOOKA!”. Schwartzenegger could’ve made it work. MCMG have always ruled and don’t even look like they’ve lost a step in 2020. The other two teams getting involved wasn’t surprising but luckily didn’t factor in too much and MCMG picked up the win to keep the momentum on their side heading into Bound For Glory. Weird for Fulton to take the pin though; all that build and shine and Austin wasn’t the one to take the loss? Weird. Maybe that’s the point. (***)
- MCMG celebrated their win, while the Good Brothers talk their trash from the stage. The North tried to get involved as well but no one cared.
*****
FINAL THOUGHTS: Didn’t know much going into this episode but I really enjoyed it. Some of the storyline stuff didn’t land with me since I’m coming in midway, but I absolutely loved the Heath segment. That was tremendous. The wrestling itself was also good as well, with a solid main event and just an absolute showcase of how good Impact’s tag team division is. They may need U.S. Tag Team Titles or something soon to give them more to fight over. Impact Wrestling over here being sneaky good; I respect it.
- MATCH OF THE NIGHT: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Ace Austin & Madman Fulton
- MOMENT OF THE NIGHT: Heath scolds Rhino for making him think Impact was going to be any different.
