COMMENTATORS: Tom Phillips & Samoa Joe
The king of Main Event is in action this week once again as Humberto Carrillo takes on Akira Tozawa, and Lince Dorado tries his luck against Angel Garza.
- Humberto Carrillo vs. Akira Tozawa (**)
- Lince Dorado vs. Angel Garza (**1/4)
Humberto Carrillo vs. Akira Tozawa
The two exchange holds to start, Tozawa flips out of a suplex attempt and gets a quick roll-up for a one-count. Carrillo gets sent to the apron, Tozawa dropkicks the legs mid-springboard to take control, using his cannonball-style splash and a straight jab to the side of the skull after faking Carrillo out with a chop attempt. Carrillo escapes an Octopus hold and goes on a comeback string, Tozawa briefly regains control but can’t put it together, and Carrillo gets the win with his inverted torture rack into a sit-out faceslam thing that still doesn’t have a name.
Humberto Carrillo defeated Akira Tozawa via pinfall (5:30)
- The King of Main Event keeps his crown for another week, gaining another win that ultimately doesn’t matter because only like five of us watch the show and we’re all only doing it for blog content. (**)
Lince Dorado [w/ Gran Metalik] vs. Angel Garza
Dorado comes out to his own song and TitanTron video, no Lucha House Party branding although Metalik still joins him. Dorado grabs a front chancery, Garza connects with a shoulderblock and Dorado quickly comes back with a sunset flip for a two-count. Garza seats Dorado on the top turnbuckle and simply shoves him to the floor and the PANTS COME OFF as the show goes to commercial.
Back to the match and Garza traps Dorado in a tree of woe, teeing off with a PK for a two-count. Garza misses a knee in the corner, Dorado comes back with a kick from the apron and a flying crossbody for a two-count. Dorado continues the comeback, connecting with a pair of clotheslines and a back suplex. Garza goes for a powerbomb, Dorado counters Kidman-style with a faceslam and follows up with a dropkick for a two-count. Dorado misses a corner splash, Garza connects with an inverted slingshot (which looked kick ass) but it still isn’t enough. Garza hits a knee, Dorado rebounds with a kick and both crumple to the mat. Garza has the last laugh, however, almost taking Dorado’s head off with a superkick and following up with the Wing Clipper for the 1…2…3.
Angel Garza defeated Lince Dorado via pinfall (7:17 shown)
- Fun closing stretch, good match overall. Would’ve loved it if they said “screw it” and had a 20+ minute banger but WWE would never let that happen and that’s sad. (**1/4)
FINAL THOUGHTS: These are matches that happened and you can’t pretend otherwise so STOP TRYING.