By Jon
COMMENTATORS: Vince McMahon & “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels
One night after their Cinderella story victory at the Royal Rumble the unlikely team of The 1-2-3 Kid and Bob Holly put their newly-won WWF Tag Team Titles on the line against the returning Smoking Gunns. Also on the show Todd Pettengill predates podcasts by 20+ years with his recap of the Rumble PPV, IRS and Davey Boy Smith are in action, and new Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett sets his sight on more gold.
CHAMPIONS
- WWF CHAMPION: “Big Daddy Cool” Diesel
- WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: “Double J” Jeff Jarrett
- WWF WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Alundra Blayze
- WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The 1-2-3 Kid & Bob “Spark Plugg” Holly
LINEUP
- The 1-2-3 Kid & Bob Holly [c] vs. The Smoking Gunns for the WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP (***1/4)
- Irwin R. Schyster vs. Buck Quartermain
- Davey Boy Smith vs. Black Phantom
*****
–Vince McMahon announces that Scott “Bam Bam” Bigelow has been suspended without pay for his actions against Lawrence Taylor last night at the Royal Rumble.
-After the opening video “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels gets his own entrance en route to the commentary table. As expected Michaels gloats about his Rumble win the night before. Justified.
The Smoking Gunns (Billy & Bart Gunn) defeated The 1-2-3 Kid & Bob “Spark Plugg” Holly [c] via pinfall to win the WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP (15:18 shown)
Handshakes all around, code of honor adhered to. Champs in control for the most part in the beginning, showing off their newfound teamwork including a double Superplex on Billy Gunn that unfortunately doesn’t get them the win. After a commercial the champs continuing work Billy Gunn over, including a spin kick from Holly of all people, and Kid dropkicks Bart Gunn off the apron to prevent a tag. Kid goes for a backdrop, Billy counters with a proto-Fameasser and gets the tag to Bart who goes wrecks everybody. Gunns hit a sidewalk slam/legdrop combo, Holly breaks up the pinfall attempt. Gunns connect a double Side Russian Legsweep heading into the second commercial break. Back live the Gunns hit a suplex/dropkick combo but Billy takes too long to gloat and Kid kicks out of the lateral press. Holly eventually gets the hot tag, and belts Billy with a dropkick for a close near-fall. Holly comes off the top, Billy gets his foot up to counter him. Bart tags in, Gunns hit a backbreaker/flying neckbreaker combo for the 1…2…3! New champs!
A good competitive match, but it’s a real bummer that Kid and Holly were just used as transitional champs like that. So much build for their Cinderella run and it gets snuffed out the next night. Gunns were probably slated to win the Titles in the tournament proper but couldn’t due to injury, so they had to rewrite things. WWF should’ve gone with Kid/Holly as a team though, I was all for it as a kid. (***1/4)
-PROMOTIONAL CONSIDERATION: Bam Bam Bigelow does a Slim Jim ad. Does he get residuals for this despite being suspended?
-Vince is with the defeated Kid and Holly at ringside, and he has to pretty much explain their motivation for them because they’re a mumbling mess. Kid challenges The Gunns for next week’s episode.
-ROYAL RUMBLE REPORT: Todd Pettengill recaps every match except for the Rumble itself in a very podcast-like fashion.
-Back to Vince and HBK at ringside. HBK says he’s on the hunt for a new bodyguard, someone he can actually trust. May I suggest someone SYCHO?
Irwin R. Schyster [w/ “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase & The Druids] defeated Buck Quartermain via pinfall (2:19)
Schyster still has his druids and a new comically oversized urn as a result of his repossession last night at the Rumble. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper phones in to talk nonsense, putting over The New Generation and kind of hyping the Encore+ version of the Royal Rumble but not really. Anyway.
-COMING SOON: Man Mountain Rock, aka Maxx Payne. He isn’t tie-dyed out yet so at this point there was still a chance it wouldn’t have been awful.
-KING’S COURT: Jerry “The King” Lawler is with new Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett and The Roadie. Jarrett tries to show off the title around his waist a bunch but no cameraman can get a good shot of it through this whole thing. Jarrett brags about his win last night, then challenges Diesel for his WWF Championship. DOES HIS LUST FOR GOLD KNOW NO BOUNDS?
“The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith defeated Black Phantom via pinfall (3:11)
Smith jaw jacks at Michaels, still mad he lost the Rumble last night, and Phantom attacks from behind. His offense doesn’t last long though because he’s the goddamn British Bulldog. Vince tries to call HBK a con artist for getting the win at the Rumble, but he won it fair and square and the WWF production team played Smith’s music accidentally so HBK isn’t actually at fault. I hate taking his side but it is what it is. Anyway Smith wins with the Running Powerslam after a squash that gets dragged out WITH CHINLOCKS. No chinlocks in a squash, HOW DARE YOU.
-NEXT WEEK: Mabel vs. King Kong Bundy, Tag Team Title rematch.
–Bam Bam Bigelow waits around to apologize but technical difficulties prevent this. I thought he was suspended.
*****
FINAL THOUGHTS: Great tag team match and the start of a Diesel/Jarrett match build, but that’s about it. Episode wasn’t bad though, breezy watch, but I can’t lie and say stuff was memorable. I’m handsome, not a liar. Big difference.
