‘WCW BEACH BLAST 1992’ Recap + Review – Steiners vs. MVC, Sting vs. Cactus, Steamboat vs. Rude

DATE: June 20, 1992
VENUE: Mobile Civic Center (Mobile, AL)
COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross & Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Just four days removed from Clash of the Champions XIX, WCW presents its first-annual Beach Blast live from the summer capital of the world: Mobile, Alabama! This show features one of the greatest World Championship matches in WCW history, the Tag Team Championship main-eventing a PPV for I think the first time ever, and a 30 minute Iron Man match. Let’s see how it holds up.

CHAMPIONS

• WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: Sting
• WCW UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “Ravishing” Rick Rude
• WCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION: “Stunning” Steve Austin
• WCW LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “Flyin” Brian Pillman
• WCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)
• WCW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael “P.S.” Hayes & Jimmy “Jam” Garvin)

LINEUP

• Brian Pillman [c] vs. Scotty Flamingo for the WCW LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP (**1/4)
• Ron Simmons vs. The Taylor Made Man (*1/2)
• Marcus Bagwell vs. Greg Valentine (*1/4)
• FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE: Sting [c] vs. Cactus Jack for the WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP (****1/4)
• IRON MAN CHALLENGE: Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude (****1/2)
• Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, & Nikita Koloff vs. The Dangerous Alliance (**3/4)
• The Steiner Brothers [c] vs. The Miracle Violence Connection for the WCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP (***1/2)

*****

–Tony Schiavone and Eric Bischoff welcome the audience from the interview stage, then bring in new WCW exec “Cowboy” Bill Watts and his fanny pack. Watts hypes the show tonight and announces that Paul E. Dangerously & Madusa will be banned from ringside during Rick Rude’s Iron Man challenge. 

-Schiavone takes it to Jim Ross at ringside for continued hype of the PPV. The people already bought it, you can pump the breaks a little. Ross introduces his broadcast partner, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, who makes his way from the beach set with his arm around all sorts of bikini-clad ladies with his own theme song and pyro. LOVE IT. 

—

“Flyin” Brian Pillman [c] vs. Scotty Flamingo for the WCW LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Pillman became the first Light Heavyweight Champion in late-1991 and had a string of legendary matches with Jushin “Thunder” Liger over the title earlier in the year, including a match at SuperBrawl II that many still talk about with heart eyes to this day. Flamingo is a recent WCW hire, having cut his teeth in the Portland scene as well as the Global Wrestling Federation under the name “Scotty the Body”. He would go onto bigger and better things, as WWF’s resident yuppie Johnny Polo. Also some rando named Raven, I dunno.

Pillman and Flamingo feel each other out with some chain wrestling to start, Pillman grabbing a hammerlock after a drop toehold. Pillman tries to roll his shoulders to the mat, Flamingo bridges out and eventually makes it to the ropes to force a reset. Pillman ducks a clothesline and catches Flamingo with a sunset flip for the 1..2…Flamingo kicks out and begs off into the corner when Pillman charges right back at him. Pillman blocks a cheap elbow so Flamingo goes downstairs instead. Pillman floats over in the corner and takes Flamingo to the canvas with a hip toss, following up with a short armscissors. Ring announcer announces that five minutes have elapsed, but we’re barely three and a half in, lame. Pillman transitions into an armbar, Flamingo whips him off and gets dropped with a shoulder tackle. Pillman counters a hip toss with one of his own and once again Flamingo begs off in the corner. Pillman goes back to work on the left arm, bringing Flamingo to the canvas with a twist. Flamingo uses the ropes to get to his feet, Pillman takes him right back down and keeps it extended, Flamingo tries to counter with a side headlock but Pillman quickly slides out and counters into a hammerlock. Pillman dropkicks Flamingo to the apron, his legs getting caught on the top rope, Pillman shoves him off and he crashes to the concrete below (NO FLOOR MATS IN BILL WATTS’ WCW, THESE ARE REAL MEN). Pillman brings Flamingo back in and heads to the top, Flamingo launches him off into a bellyflop on the canvas. Ross reminds the viewers that if Pillman had come off the top he would have been DQed, another rule of Watts’ WCW. He’s right though, why would ANYONE want to see top rope moves, especially from light heavyweights? Oh wait.

Flamingo rakes Pillman’s eyes to stop a comeback attempt, and comes off the middle buckle with a forearm drop for the 1…2…not yet. Flamingo charges, Pillman slingshots into a crossbody for the 1…2…Flamingo kicks out and catches Pillman with a clothesline. Flamingo rakes the eyes once more and slows things down with a reverse chinlock. Flamingo almost knocks Pillman out but can’t get the pin so he goes back to the hold. Pillman dodges a corner splash, Flamingo goes back to the eyes and we’re in our third chinlock of the match in a row. Hey he’s got flamingos on his boots, that’s…that makes sense. Pillman reverses a whip and catches Flamingo with a sleeper, Flamingo breaks it by sending him head-first into the top turnbuckle. Flamingo comes off the middle buckle but Pillman catches him on the way down with a dropkick, finding his second wind. Pillman ducks a clothesline and connects with a spinning heel kick (spinning savate kick according to JR and Ventura) and follows up with some count along rights in the corner. Flamingo runs into a boot, Pillman charges but Flamingo catches him by surprise with a powerslam for the 1…2…Pillman kicks out! So close. Pillman tricks Flamingo into thinking his knee injured and catches him playing to the fans with an avalanche belly to back suplex for the 1…2…Flamingo gets his foot on the rope. Pillman counters a backdrop attempt with a faceslam and follows up with a clothesline from behind. Pillman clotheslines Flamingo out to the ramp (NO DQ CALLED) and tries to follow up with a dive but Flamingo sidesteps and he crashes skull-first. A dazed Pillman re-enters the ring and Flamingo finishes him off with a flying knee to the side of the ribs (LAME) for the 1…2…3.

Scotty Flamingo defeated Brian Pillman [c] via pinfall to win the WCW LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP (17:28)

• JON’S THOUGHTS: All that work Brian Pillman & Jushin Liger did to elevate the Light Heavyweight Title in early-1992 just for Pillman to lose the title by flying knee to the ribs. Weak. I liked the match for awhile but after the ten minute mark started losing my attention. Pillman took a hell of a bump on that ramp though, I could see his spine compact on that hit. (**1/4)

—

BIKINI CONTEST: ROUND 1 (EVENING GOWN?!?)

The contest MC, Johnny B. Badd, makes his way out wearing a ridiculous outfit as he’s wont to do. Ventura is SEETHING with jealousy about not being the MC of this contest, saying he’s not even sure that Badd LIKES girls. Ross assures him he does. Badd introduces himself and explains the contest is three rounds: evening gown, bathing suit, & bikini. One of these things is not like other one. Badd says the folks at home can call the WCW Hotline to vote while the folks in the arena can vote by applause. Missy Hyatt is out first to show off her diamond-encrusted gown. Madusa is out next, wearing a wedding gown complete with veil and flowers. And that’s…it.

—

-Ross hypes next month’s Great American Bash PPV, which is set to feature Sting vs. Big Van Vader for the World Title…if Sting can defeat Cactus Jack tonight anyway.

-Schiavone and Bischoff do some unnecessary hype for the next match. Whatever keeps the checks coming in.

—

“The All-American” Ron Simmons vs. “The Taylor Made Man” Terry Taylor

Taylor was originally “The Computerized Man of the 1990s” Terrence Taylor but now that The York Foundation has ceased to exist (booo) he’s simply The Taylor Made Man. Simmons had a brief run as a World Title contender in late-91 but is back to just kinda existing in the undercard. Both men are wearing green, but Simmons’ is neon so you know he’s the babyface.

Simmons shows off his power right away, throwing Taylor halfway across the ring off a lockup. Taylor complains of a hair pull, Simmons scares him into the corner for the accusation. Taylor tries to hip toss Simmons out of the corner, Simmons easily blocks and counters. Taylor catches Simmons with a pair of rights, Simmons clips the knee with a pair of three-point stances. Taylor sends Simmons to the ramp, Simmons connects with an atomic drop and  press slam back into the ring, then clotheslines him back to the floor (NO DQ CALLED BY THE REF). Simmons weakens the back some more and traps Taylor in the center of the ring with a bearhug (UGH). Simmons tries the chop block again but Taylor dodges and he sends himself crashing back to the ramp. Taylor connects with a jawbreaker and a neck snap off a snapmare for the 1…2…Simmons easily powers out, Taylor immediately grabs a chinlock. Taylor switches gears and connects with a backbreaker but Simmons once again kicks out of the lateral press. Simmons reverses an Irish whip and drills Taylor in the canvas with a sidewalk slam. Simmons goes on a comeback string, Taylor charges at him and he hits a snap powerslam for the 1…2…3.

Ron Simmons defeated The Taylor Made Man via pinfall (7:10)

• Felt like a Worldwide main event but on PPV instead. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling, strong win for Ron Simmons. (*1/2)

Ross interviews Simmons at ringside, reminding everyone of his feud with Harley Race & The Super Invader. Simmons says his goal is the same as it always is, to be the World Champion despite the odds being stacked against him.

—

Marcus Bagwell vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine

Bagwell debuted in WCW in late-91 after a brief stint as The Handsome Stranger in the GWF and has not really amounted to much yet besides being a pretty face that WCW tries to use to heighten their female fanbase. I honestly had forgotten Valentine had a WCW run after leaving the WWF the year prior, but he’s only a few months removed from a stint as one-half of the U.S. Tag Team Champions so it wasn’t uneventful. This is a weird match to have on PPV, I wonder if Valentine is going to suffer any of Bagwell’s rookie bullsh*t buffoonery.

Bagwell rocks some babyfire fire offense to start, throwing Valentine around with hip tosses and a scoop slam. The male part of the crowd noticeably boos everything, SEETHING with jealousy. Valentine dazes Bagwell with an elbow to the back of the head, Bagwell counters a piledriver with a backdrop and sends the Hammer packing to the floor with a pair of dropkicks. This break works as Valentine gets his bearings together, blocking a hip toss and clubbing Bagwell to the canvas with a stiff clothesline to go on the offensive. Goddamn. Bagwell dodges a flying elbow but misses a kneedrop, giving Valentine a limb to focus on and weaken. Valentine signals for the Figure Four, Bagwell kicks him off, Valentine tries again and Bagwell counters into an inside cradle for the 1…2…Hammer kicks out. Bagwell counters a slam with a roll-up for the 1…2…Valentine kicks out, Bagwell surprises him with a backslide for the 1…2…another kickout. Bagwell briefly mounts a comeback but lands wrong on his knee after a leapfrog that takes his momentum away, Valentine softens it up once more with a shinbreaker and this time locks in the Figure Four to get the victory.

Greg Valentine defeated Marcus Bagwell via submission (7:16)

• JON’S THOUGHTS: Valentine knew what he was working with and did his best to get a good match out of Bagwell who was noticeably green in almost all of his delivery. It was okay for the most part though, I didn’t super hate it and Bagwell did the best he could. The dudes in the crowd did NOT give him any quarter though and you would’ve thought it was Hogan/Andre at WrestleMania III with the pop they gave The Hammer when he locked in the Figure Four. Rude. (*1/4)

—

-Ross & Ventura hype the Falls Count Anywhere match coming up next with clips of Cactus Jack’s FCA win over Van Hammer at a Clash of the Champions. This is the best match of Hammer’s career and I highly recommend you check it out. Thank you WCW All Nighter for introducing it to me as a kid.

—

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
Sting [c] vs. Cactus Jack for the WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Jack and Sting’s feud began in the summer of 1991 when Jack returned to WCW. Since then he’s been a thorn at the Stinger’s side, aligning with Abdullah The Butcher to injure and cost Sting the United States Title at Clash of the Champions XVII among other attacks/battles. This is Sting’s first PPV defense of the World Title he beat Lex Luger for at SuperBrawl II as well as Jack’s first World Title shot and to be honest it’s kind of a bummer that it’s happening in the MIDDLE of the show.

Sting and Jack waste no time, trading bombs on the ramp as the crowd goes nuts. Jack tries to throw Sting off, Sting counters in a roll-up for a one-count then lays into him with rights and a backdrop. Sting measures Jack and sends him face-first into the ramp with a bulldog, covering but only barely getting a two-count. Sting charges but Jack dodges and he hangs himself across the top rope, sending himself to the concrete floor. Jack follow up with a Nestea Plunge of an elbowdrop on the cement but only gets a two-count. Jack connects with a neckbreaker, the back of BOTH their skulls smacking against the concrete and Jack covers for the 1…2…not yet. Jack comes off the apron again with a FLYING SUNSET FLIP for the 1…2…Sting kicks out again. Somebody is a secret Johnny B. Badd fan. Jack whips Sting into the guardrail and charges, Sting backdrops him into the crowd and suplexes him, covering for the 1…2…Jack kicks out and Sting sends him crashing into and over the guardrail back to the ringside area. Action moves into the ring for the first time, Sting catches a kick but takes too long to do anything and Jack makes him pay with a lariat. Things turn into a WRESTLING MATCH for some reason, Jack wearing Sting down with a bodyscissors but also decides to slap him in the face, firing Sting up who escapes with a series of elbows and rights. Jack rakes the eyes and charges, clotheslining himself and the Stinger out to the floor. HOT DAMN. 

Jack whips Sting into the guardrail and charges, Sting catches him with a series of kicks and a STIFF clothesline. Jack takes a steel chair to Sting, ramming it into the ribs and cracking it repeatedly across his back. BANG BANG. Jack grabs Sting in a side headlock and rips at his face, Sting counters into a belly-to-back suplex on the concrete, covering for the 1…2…Jack ain’t dead yet. Sting and Jack crack each other with rights, Jack falls on top of Sting for the 1…2…Sting counters into a crucifix for the 1…2…Jack kicks out. Sting charges at Jack, Jack catches him and drops him across the guardrail. Jack goes for a piledriver but his knee (hurt earlier from the Nestea Plunge) gives out and he doesn’t get all of it. Jack tries another Plunge but hits nothing but concrete, Sting brings him back to the ramp and hammers away followed by a scoop slam. Sting lays into Jack with a series of chairshots but Jack won’t go down until he throws it at his leg. Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Lock but Jack rolls out and they both spill to the floor. Jack tosses Sting back onto the ramp and connects with a Double Arm DDT but is too out of it to immediately make the cover, finally draping the arm over for the 1…2…Sting kicks out. Sting surprises Jack with a running clothesline followed by a flying clothesline from the top turnbuckle for the 1…2…3.

Sting [c] defeated Cactus Jack via pinfall to retain the WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP (11:24)

• JON’S THOUGHTS: This match has been given all of the praise over the years from both participants as well as various fans, and it absolutely deserves it. Tremendously entertaining brawl, with Sting really getting a chance to let loose in a way he hasn’t with another opponent up to this point and Jack taking some sick bumps to put over the World Champ. That being said there were some moments I wasn’t too fond of, the random bodyscissors spot and the abrupt finish standing out the most, but overall this match f*cking rules and I’d watch it again in a heartbeat. (****1/4)

—

-Schiavone and Bischoff discuss the match we just watched, the former having never seen anything like that in nine years. Next up is the IRON MAN CHALLENGE.

—

IRON MAN CHALLENGE (30 MINUTES)
Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs. “Ravishing” Rick Rude

Rude is the current United States Champion but the title is not on the line for this one, it’s all about BRAGGING RIGHTS or pay window money or whatever. As explained earlier by Bill Watts Rude’s managers Paul E. Dangerously & Madusa have been banished from ringside. Winner is the one with the most decisions within a thirty minute time limit. Steamboat, however, gets to come out with his wife Bonnie and young son/future NXT star Richie because he’s a man with family values. UNFAIR. Steamboat’s WCW theme rules so much.

Steamboat attacks Rude and immediately injures his ribs with a gutbuster, keeping focus on the area with a series of body shots and a standing bearhug. Rude attempts to get some offense going but Steamboat goes right to the ribs, bending the left cage across his knee while pulling back on Rude’s arm and leg. Rude escapes the hold with a rake to the eyes and tries a monkey flip, but Steamboat wrenches the leg instead and locks in a Boston Crab. Rude tries to power out but Steamboat keeps it wrenched in and leans in at a higher angle for more pressure. Rude keeps struggling and grimacing and FINALLY makes it to the bottom rope to force a break, much to Steamboat’s annoyance. Steamboat pulls Rude off the ropes and connects with a Warrior Splash across the back followed by a pair of knees to the ribs. Steamboat almost gets a pinfall but Rude manages to kick out, so The Dragon goes back to work with chops and a hammer throw to the corner. Rude catches Steamboat charging with a knee and covers, handful of tights, for the 1…2…3! RUDE: 1 STEAMBOAT: 0

Rude continues the attack immediately with forearms, a series of knees, and a Rude Awakening for the 1…2…3! RUDE: 2 STEAMBOAT: 0

Rude keeps the offense going but stupidly comes off the top buckle with a kneedrop so he gets DQed! He doesn’t seem to care though. RUDE: 2 STEAMBOAT: 1

Rude picks up a lifeless Steamboat and rolls him up for the 1…2…3! Lost one, picked one up! RUDE: 3 STEAMBOAT: 1

Steamboat lays into Rude with a series of strikes, Rude counters a backdrop with a faceslam and the Dragon bounces off the canvas. Rude sends Steamboat back down with a snapmare and locks in a Camel Clutch, a brutal submission and also a good way to rest and run down the clock. Steamboat almost gets to the ropes, Rude splashes him and tries to shimmy for the ladies but his hurt ribs stop him mid-gyration. Maybe Steamboat IS the heel of this match. Rude reapplies a Camel Clutch, Steamboat picks him up on his shoulders and breaks it with an Electric Chair, taking the starch out of both men. Steamboat gets to his feet first and goes for a splash, Rude counters with a pair of knees. Rude connects with a regular ol’ swinging neckbreaker and covers for the 1…2…Steamboat gets the shoulder up. Rude repeatedly tries to keep the shoulder down but Steamboat manages to power out each time. Rude snaps off another mare and wrenches in a chinlock as fifteen minutes remain in the challenge. Steamboat escapes with elbows, Rude doubles him down back to the canvas with a knee right to the bread basket and spikes him with a piledriver for the 1…2…Steamboat gets the shoulder up! Rude goes for a Tombstone Piledriver, Steamboat reverses and plants him for the 1…2…3! RUDE: 3 STEAMBOAT: 2

Rude yanks the tights, sending Steamboat crashing face-first into the turnbuckles, and starts climbing the buckles again like a dummy. Steamboat dazes him with a pair of rights and connects with a TOP ROPE SUPERPLEX. Both men are…oh wait apparently it’s a “legal move” according to Jim Ross so no DQ is called. Y’all if you’re going to institute this stupid rule then stick to it. Rude and Steamboat clock each other with a double clothesline, Rude covers for the 1…2…STEAMBOAT BRIDGES OUT INTO A BACKSLIDE for the 1…2…3! RUDE: 3 STEAMBOAT: 3

Steamboat goes right at Rude with a host of pinfall combinations but Rude kicks out of all of them and slows it back down with a jawbreaker. Rude drives Steamboat’s face repeatedly into the canvas, taunting him and telling him that he’s no iron man before covering for the 1…2…Steamboat kicks out. Rude plants Steamboat with a slam and follows up with a forearm smash for the 1…2…Steamboat gets the shoulder up. Rude sends Steamboat to the canvas with a clothesline of sorts, more like a forearm blow, and finds time to pose just a little bit. I respect it. Rude goes for the Rude Awakening, Steamboat counters out and HITS ONE OF HIS OWN FOR THE 1…2…RUDE GETS HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE. Steamboat connects with a belly-to-back suplex and covers for the 1…2…Rude’s gets the left shoulder up. Rude reverses a whip and applies a backpack sleeper, Steamboat drives him into the buckles but the Ravishing One hangs on. Steamboat almost fades as three minutes remain, Rude knocking his arm down as he tries to grab for the ropes, and finally the Dragon crumples to the mat as less than two minutes remain. Steamboat gets his arm up at the last second, gets to a vertical base, and pushes off the buckles, landing on top of Rude for the 1…2…3! STEAMBOAT: 4 RUDE: 3

A desperate and manic Rude tries desperately to get another pin of Steamboat, but Steamboat manages to kick out  of each attempt and the match ends with The Dragon taking the victory!

Ricky Steamboat defeated Rick Rude, 3-2 (30:00)

• JON’S THOUGHTS: Now this is pod racing/an Iron Man match! I’ve seen my fair share of these types of matches over the year but most of them tend not to land; however Rude and Steamboat is the exception to the rule as this ruled from bell to bell. This one truly felt like a contest as both men worked their asses off to secure falls and come out on top, an immediacy of which I feel is lacking sometimes in an Iron Man match. Steamboat sneaking in that last fall and Rude desperately scrambling in the final seconds to try and tie it back up was amazing and one of the best finishes I’ve ever seen. Two of the best doing awesome sh*t, as much love as the Falls Count Anywhere match on this show gets this one might be even better. (****1/2)

—

BIKINI CONTEST: ROUND 2 (SWIMSUITS)

Ross and an angry Ventura take it to the stage, where Johnny B. Badd is standing by, complete with flamboyant wardrobe change. This man’s outfits kick ass. Out first is Madusa, wearing a leather jacket over her swimsuit and murder heels to show off her legs. Badd jokes that these ladies are almost as pretty as him then introduces Missy Hyatt, who is already in a bikini and the horned up crowd LOSES THEIR MIND. I get it. Hyatt obviously wins the crowd vote, biased sons of bitches. Itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini contest still to, uh, come. Get your vote in on the WCW Hotline while you still can!

—

“The Natural” Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, & “The Russian Nightmare” Nikita Koloff vs. The Dangerous Alliance (“Beautiful” Bobby Eaton, “Stunning” Steve Austin, & Arn Anderson) [w/ Paul E. Dangerously]

The Dangerous Alliance is still reeling from their War Games loss last month at WrestleWar, in which all six were participants. The feud continues on, however, and now we’ve got six man tag team action with legendary curmudgeon Ole Anderson as the special guest referee as he’s the only one who can contain the chaos I guess. 

Windham and Austin trade holds at the start, Austin climbs the buckles and Windham throws him off with a flying Japanese armdrag. Rhodes tags in and catches Austin with a dropkick, followed by a second standing dropkick, Austin tries to tag in the wrong corner and Rhodes brings him back to the canvas with an armbar. Eaton tags in and catches a running Rhodes with a high knee and a cradled or the 1…2…Rhodes kicks out and Anderson tags in to try his luck. Anderson slaps Koloff, Rhodes happily tags him in which pops the crowd. Anderson connects with a kneedrop and starts climbing the buckles but Koloff gets to his feet quickly and he thinks better of it (also top rope moves are banned now). Ross mocks “sports writers” for justly criticizing this rule. Koloff catches Anderson with a Russian Sickle, sending him over the top rope and onto the floor but no DQ is called because he wasn’t “thrown” over or some sh*t. Ventura isn’t buying Ross’s nonsense and Ross stumbles around it. No one was ever ready for Ventura. Koloff sends Eaton into Anderson with an atomic drop and slams Austin, causing The Dangerous Alliance to flee to the floor, Dangerously tells them to go with “plan #2”. I hope that one involves winning. 

Anderson backs Koloff into the ropes, Windham tags in and sends him reeling with a right hand followed by a scoop slam. Windham catches a kick and sends Anderson into the corner with an atomic drop, but Anderson ricochets and the back of his head catches him in the skull and they both drop. Anderson belts Windham with lefts, Windham catches him with a knee and locks in a sleeperhold. Apparently 10 minutes have gone by but I have 8. WHEN ARE THEY STARTING THEIR COUNT? Rhodes tags in and attacks all three Alliance members. Lariat for Anderson, Bionic Elbow for Eaton. Rhodes tries to fight out of the corner, Anderson sends him into Eaton and down both men go. Austin tags in and lays into Rhodes and distracts Ole so Arn can get in some cheapshots. Anderson tags in and works Rhodes over, Rhodes surprises him with a backslide but Eaton tags on the way down and continues the onslaught, wrapping Rhodes’ knee around the ring post. Rhodes tries to make a tag, Eaton drives him to the canvas with a clothesline for the 1…2…Rhodes kicks out, Eaton locks in an armbar while wedging his forearm into the side of his face. Austin tags in, ducks a clothesline, and turns Rhodes inside out with a clothesline of his own for the 1…2…Rhodes barely kicks out. Rhodes dazes Anderson with a Bionic Elbow, Anderson brings him to the canvas with a drop toehold and tags out to Eaton who goes back to the arm. Eaton dodges a crossbody attempt, Austin tags in but Rhodes counters a suplex into a roll-up for the 1…2…Austin kicks out and gut punches Rhodes to stop his momentum. Anderson tags in and locks in a deep overhead armbar (same move Eaton submitted to at War Games!). 

Rhodes noggin knocks Anderson and Eaton’s heads together, Austin tags in to prevent a tag and connects with the Stun Gun…BUT RHODES POWERS THROUGH ANYWAY AND GETS THE TAG TO WINDHAM. All six start brawling in the ring, Windham connects with a Superplex and covers but Anderson comes off the top to break the pin, which Ole sees and DQs him for! Aw man.

Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, & Nikita Koloff defeated The Dangerous Alliance via DQ (15:33)

• JON’S THOUGHTS: A breezy six-man tag team match that went by a lot faster than I thought it was going to. Sometimes multi-man matches feel neverending to me but for some reason this one just clicked. Anderson getting DQed for coming off the top rope is okay in the sense that it helps put over that it’s a new rule that will be followed but also a cheap way to end things after asking fans to spend 15+ minutes of their time watching this. I enjoyed it overall, however. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. (**3/4)

The fight continues after the bell, Austin throwing Windham into the guardrail to get the last laugh on his hated rival.

—

-Bischoff is standing by at the interview stage with a tired Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat. Steamboat thanks the fans for their support and puts over tonight’s match as the best of his entire career. Steamboat vows to knock at Rick Rude’s door for more United States Championship matches, Paul E. Dangerously interrupts and tells him that he’s received his FINAL chance at the title. Cactus Jack pulls Steamboat off the stage and a brawl breaks out between two guys who probably would rather take a nap at this point than battle some more. Both men brawl to the back as security tries desperately to break them up.

—

BIKINI CONTEST: ROUND 3 (BIKINI)

Sick of watching from the table, Jesse Ventura heads to the stage to co-host with Johnny B. Badd. Ventura accuses Badd of being biased in his judgment and asks him if he even likes girls, Badd tells him he’s just jealous…and cue the awkward silence. Madusa is up first, wearing chaps alongside her bikini as Ventura damn near ograsms on the mic saying the competition is over. She’s wearing more here than she was during the swimsuit round. Missy Hyatt is up next but she hides in the hut because someone stole her suit (which fit in an envelope). Ventura naturally wants to name Madusa as the winner since she doesn’t have one, Badd takes a look and says he doesn’t think she can come out like that. Hyatt decides to do it anyway and COMES OUT WEARING VENTURA’S SCARVES AS A BIKINI. Badd announces Hyatt as the winner, which the crowd seems to agree with. Madusa protests and attacks Badd, they fall into one of the huts. A scuffle breaks out and Badd emerges with a piece of her bathing suit. Ventura excitedly hands Badd the mic and jumps into the hut himself to…f*ck her I guess? I don’t know what that is. Either way I guess the real winner will be announced tomorrow night on Main Event.

—

-Schiavone and Bischoff hype up the main event while also casually mentioning the upcoming NWA World Tag Team Title tournament. Cool. 

—

The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner) [c] vs. The Miracle Violence Connection (“Dr. Death” Steve Williams & Terry “Bam Bam” Gordy) for the WCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

Surprising choice for a main event as I don’t think the World Tag Team Titles have ever main-evented a wrestling PPV before this (I’m probably wrong and you can let me know in the comments). Can’t think of two better teams to do it though, as the Steiners love throwing people around and Williams/Gordy are the hossiest motherf*ckers in WCW so this is going to pop off. LET’S GOOOO. Steiners are apparently the #1 seed in the NWA World Tag Team Title tournament too, so they’ve got the potential to clean up as they’ve been doing for most of the 90s.

Gordy takes Scott to the canvas with a waistlock, Scott with a standing switch, riding Gordy like a bull until Bam Bam reaches the ropes to force a break. Scott takes Gordy back down with a single leg, pulling him back with a half-nelson. Gordy tries to escape but can’t so he leaps for the ropes to force another break. Scott and Gordy ram into each other, Gordy slaps Scott and they start throwing bombs, Scott sweeps the legs and the ref does his damndest to separate them to settle everyone down. Williams tags in and goes for the legs, almost sliding out of the ring accidentally. More amateur wrestling breaks out, trading waistlocks and whatnot. Williams backs Scott into the corner and connects with a pair of knees, Scott catches him charging with a boot. Williams charges in with a clothesline, Scott ducks and goes for a German suplex but he hangs onto the ropes and connects with a back elbow. Scott dodges Williams in the corner and rolls him up with a sunset flip for a two-count then settles into a side headlock, Gordy cheering his partner on. Rick gets the tag and the crowd immediately starts barking as Ross brings up his past with Williams in The Varsity Club. Eyyy I love when people remember the past. Rick tries an armdrag, Williams easily blocks it. Williams blocks a hip toss, hooking the arm, Rick backs him into the corner and the ref facilitates a clean break. They jockey for position, Rick throws him with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, a stunned Williams takes a powder to hopefully quell the momentum. Williams slams Rick and connects with a pair of tackles to the knee. Williams goes for the third and Rick SNAPS OFF A STEINERLINE for the 1…2…Williams kicks out. Williams forces Rick into the corner and Gordy tags in, missing a corner elbow. Rick tries a German suplex, ref makes him break it and Gordy surprises him with a belly-to-back suplex for the 1…2…not yet. Rick connects with a suplex of his own, dropping Gordy on his head, Williams quickly gets the tag and trades bombs with Rick, Williams grabs the tights and tosses Rick to the ramp. 

Rick flies back in with a sunset flip, Scott decks Williams and he goes down for the 1…2…kickout. Gordy tags in and settles into a half-crab in the center of the ring. Rick powers up, Williams decks him in the face, Gordy locks in a spinning toehold. Rick escapes with a kick and connects with a release belly-to-belly suplex, the canvas sounding like an EXPLOSION. Scott tags in and immediately throws Gordy overhead with a suplex but Gordy kicks out almost immediately from the cover. Scott ties Gordy’s legs up in a bow and arrow as Gordy holds onto Scott’s left leg to stop whatever he was trying to do. Scott rolls Gordy to the mat with a fisherman-like roll-up, Williams gets the tag and breaks it up with some well-timed stomps. Williams settles into a chinlock as fifteen minutes remain in the match (more like seventeen according to my count but shh). Gordy tags in, Scott surprises him with a crossbody for the 1…2…Gordy kicks out and they trade rights. Gordy holds Scott so Williams can lay into him with a pair of chops as well as a cheapshot to the knee. Gordy immediately goes to work on said knee, applying one-half of an STF (no chinlock portion). Gordy relinquishes the hold and just f*cking LEVELS Scott with a lariat for the 1…2…not yet. Williams tags in and continues going after the leg, applying a standing toehold. Scott kicks his way out, Williams responds with a double axhandle to the spine followed by a punt to the ribs. Williams stops a comeback attempt by kicking out the leg, Miracle Violence double team and Gordy covers but Rick breaks it up with a stomp. Gordy connects with a facelock suplex for the 1…2…Scott kicks out and Gordy immediately applies another leglock, tying him up in a bow & arrow. Williams tags in and sweeps the legs, turning him over in a half-Crab. Scott won’t submit so Williams lets go and rams his knee into the canvas to add insult to injury. Gordy tags in and locks in a half-Crab of his own, sitting down much deeper than Dr. Death did.

Scott gets close to making a tag, Gordy pulls him away and tags out to Williams who this time locks in a full Boston Crab. Scott crawls his way to his corner and RICK GETS THE HOT TAG. Rick goes HAM on the Miracle Violence Connection, catching Williams with a flying bulldog and knocking Gordy off the apron. Scott climbs the middle buckle, Gordy levels him with a lariat to send him to the floor and Williams drops Rick with a lariat of his own but decides not to cover. Williams puts Rick on Gordy’s shoulders who hits a powerslam off the middle buckle, Williams covers for the 1…2…RICK KICKS OUT. That’s a really cool tag team move. Williams tags in and MVC drop Rick with a double shoulderblock for the 1…2…Rick kicks out. Williams connects with a pair of backbreakers and covers again for the 1…2…Rick kicks out once again. Gordy tags in and drops Rick with a forearm to the skull followed by a Greco-Roman kick to the head and a Saito Suplex for the 1…2…Rick gets the shoulder up. Gordy tries again, hooking the leg, for the 1…2…Rick kicks out again. Williams tags in and kicks him to the canvas as four minutes remain. Williams wrenches in a chinlock, Rick almost fades but finds a second wind and escapes. Williams buries a knee and connects with a gutwrench sitout powerbomb for the 1…2…Rick kicks out and Williams grabs a front facelock. Williams picks Rick up, Rick escapes and drops him with a Steinerline! Gordy quickly tags in and connects with a corner clothesline, he tries again and Rick LEVELS him with a Steinerline as one minute remains in the match. Scott finally gets the HOT TAG, backdrops and slams to everybody. Fifteen seconds remain, Scott connects with a Pearl River Plunge and a FRANKENSTEINER but the bell rings and the time limit expires! 

The Steiner Brothers [c] fought The Miracle Violence Connection to a time limit draw; Steiners retain the WCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP (officially 30:00 but actually 28:22 bell to bell)

• JON’S THOUGHTS: A very good match that could have been made WAY better if they shaved off some time, no need to go 30 minutes on a show that already had a match go the same amount. Both teams are on the same side of the NWA World Tag Team Title bracket so I guess the time limit draw helps build that potential rematch but it’s an odd choice for WCW to end their PPV without a decisive finish. Still though this had me invested for most of the contest as I love all four of these guys; whenever the lull started setting in one of them would just f*cking PUMMEL the other with something and it snapped me back at attention. I would watch another match between these two, I hope that happened on something that made tape and it’s not just a house show loop match I’ll never get to see. (***1/2)

—

-Schiavone and Bischoff recap the show I just watched with my own face, then take it back to Ross and Ventura to close the show and hype next month’s Great American Bash PPV which is set to feature Sting vs. Big Van Vader for the World Title. That is gonna WHIP and SLAP.

*****

FINAL THOUGHTS

With two certified BANGUHS (Sting/Cactus and Steamboat/Rude), I’m comfortable putting Beach Blast ‘92 in the upper echelon of WCW PPVs. The undercard had a couple of matches that would barely qualify for a main event on the weekly TV but they were easily forgotten once the main card kicked in and WCW barely stopped to come up for air after. I recommend the hell out of this show, you really can’t go wrong with ‘92 WCW…until like October or so. 

• FAVORITE MATCH: Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude
• FAVORITE MOMENT: Rick Rude’s frantic attempts to get another cover on Ricky Steamboat as the seconds counted down in their Iron Man Challenge. I f*cking loved that immediacy.